A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Too soon to Change an \"order by consent \"?

  • Giraffe
  • Giraffe's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
03 May 10 #202002 by Giraffe
Topic started by Giraffe
I had a residence hearing on Monday. I was self repping, ExH had a barrister.

Cafcass Officer was ordered to be present as her report stated made recommendation ExH didn't agree with.

Long story short...judge advised he would be inclined to agree with Cafcass and did we want to reach something by consent rather then him make an order. ExH came up with various proposals, which weren't practical and ended up agreeing to my suggestion in our Statements. Cafcass officer dismissed. He & his barrister sat in a side room, whilst I sat in the waiting area, then she came out to discuss points.

When after a break, I said I wasn't happy with the situation, as I didn't feel it was in the children's best interests, Barrister told me I could not now go back on an agreement, without the whole hearing having to be re-scheduled. I said my Statement had been written in October 09 and situation had changed somewhat, especially with son.

Went back in front of Judge, who said maybe it was just me being overcome by nerves as he thought the proposal was a fair one. So I signed it. Been in tears ever since.

Children with ex this weekend. Despite sending texts to Ex on Wednesday, Saturday and yesterday, trying to clarify the situation, Ex has already exploited a grey area (bank holidays). There are another couple of areas I feel can and will cause problems in the future, which i did not pick up when in court.
Is it too soon to go back to court to clarify these issues? Will I be seen as a troublemaker or somebody who isn't willing to give it a go?

Don't know what to do next, but surely it's better to act sooner rather than later, to avoid further upset?

  • zonked
  • zonked's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
03 May 10 #202020 by zonked
Reply from zonked
I don't know your circumstances but if you've recently had a court hearing perhaps its best to see if things settle down? Alternatively the Family mediation Service do good work - you could approach them, they could write and invite him to attend? What do you have to lose.

  • tom333
  • tom333's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
13 May 10 #203797 by tom333
Reply from tom333
I would let some time lapse first and see how things go, maybe three to six months .
If there are still problems you can then apply for a vary of the order.
At least you can show the court where arrangements are not working well.
It will be much better to go back and say "I tried and it didn't work" rather than go back now saying "I'm not prepared to go forward because I don't think it will work"

If ya get my drift.;)

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.