A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

ex has revealed mental illness

  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459175 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
As a word of warning, my ex works in the mental health field. He tried very hard to convince both a judge and CAFCASS that I was ''ill''. CAFCASS ultimately recommended he had less contact with the children than we had already agreed between us (it is a long story - this is not the only reason but I am sure it didn''t help).

He later tried to convince Social Services of the same - he had, apparently, diagnosed me with PND whilst seeing me for approximately 2 minutes on the doorstep once a week. He then told them that I was a liability towards the children because I hadn''t sought medical help for it. Little did he know that I had anticipated this ''move'' and had made sure everything was documented with the midwife and health visitor, just in case. He ended up looking very foolish (and I hope it damaged his professional credibility).

You make no mention whatsoever of the care provided by your wife for your children. Are they OK? Have they complained of worrying behaviour in their mum? Have their schools or nurseries made any comments?

  • MrsMathsisfun
  • MrsMathsisfun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459177 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
It sounds like FFis battling to stop his children being moved away from him and his ex is using her mental health issues as a reason for the move.

If its acceptable for her to use her health issues as a reason to move then its reasonable for FF to state his concerns for his children wealth fare if his ex is having mental health issues.

  • mumtoboys
  • mumtoboys's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459178 by mumtoboys
Reply from mumtoboys
or the ex has been subjected to repeated, unnecessary court action over the children and simply wants an end to the matter?

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459181 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I don''t think there is any point in speculation.

Many parents have mental illness at some point in their lives and the illness in itself is no reason to regulate their parenting. Regardless of whether someone has a mental health problem or not the threshold for any intervention is when someone''s parenting isn''t good enough and there is independent professional evidence children aren''t surviving satisfactorily.

So unless the school, social or health workers involved with the family have concerns about the children mental illness isn''t likely to have any impact in the court''s decision and raising the issue may be perceived as unsympathetic, unreasonable or even controlling and abusive behaviour. That wouldn''t help your case and may actually be a hinderance.

When someone''s parenting is assessed not to be good enough by the authorities the first consideration is what measures can be put in place to support the parent in their parenting so that the threshold can be met. Conflict between parents damages children more than almost anything else. If someone cares about children supporting a parent with a mental illness in their parenting, rather than using the illness against them, would be putting the children''s interests first because they would really be looking after the children''s emotional well being.

  • MrsMathsisfun
  • MrsMathsisfun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459186 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
Actually if you read FF other posts you would be aware that mum is seeking to move a 100 miles away and reduce FF contact. Therefore not actually speculation more an observation.

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459187 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I have read the other posts and speculating about either parents'' motivation serves no useful purpose.

  • FatherForever
  • FatherForever's Avatar Posted by
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
04 Apr 15 #459193 by FatherForever
Reply from FatherForever
Hi

Thanks for your comments.

I shall not raise the matter in court.

But I was married to this person for a long time. I loved her once and I probably know her better than anyone else does.

Her behavior over the last 3 years has been "uneven".

I''m not saying it''s a cause or an explanation. But it is a possibility.

It''s not funny watching someone struggle. And frankly it has been heart-breaking to see her put her wishes over (what I consider to be) the kids'' best interests so many times since we split up.

I''m not saying that''s mental illness or depression. Maybe she''s just not very nice anymore. I don''t know.

But thanks for the steer... I won''t go there in Court...

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 


Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.


Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.


Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.