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Wants custody to avoid maintenance. Absent father.

  • Froggie72
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21 Apr 16 #477217 by Froggie72
Topic started by Froggie72
Im shaking as I''m writing this.
My ex husband is always doing what he can to upset me and it''s working. He tried to get me to take him back for a full 18 months after 8 years of cheating and I would not so he highly resents me for this. He has never bothered with our girls 7 and 4 even when we were together. He was constantly trying to cause an argument on the rare occasions he saw them but I never bit back. I left it open for him to have access when he wanted and he didnt like that as he has nothing to argue with. Basically he stopped seeing them exactly a year ago to the day. No contact nothing. When he was seeing them he never bothered with any school related things or parents evening and despite being invited round at birthdays he never came. I emailed and text but he never replied. I contacted maintenance people as he text saying wanted to drop payments to 175 and I don''t know what he''s earning. Well it turns out I should be getting 520! Big difference. Now I have contacted the maintenance people he has now filed for joint custody. Clearly money orientated. My solicitor is confident for me but I actually want him to want to see his children but he doesn''t and I don''t want them being mentally scarred by his game playing. What do i do? Court is next week. :S

  • Declan
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21 Apr 16 #477218 by Declan
Reply from Declan
Hello Froggie

Maybe start by trying to put it all into context .

I think you are worried unnecessarily. You see Anxiety is the worry or fear of something that may Never happen .

You say you are shaking as you write this . Troubled mind eh , .

From what you say , and your solicitor also says . You ain''t got nothing to worry about sister .

Sounds like he is being a naughty boy . Pure and simple.

I Know it''s tough right now and your full of unnecessary fear . Stories you are telling yourself in your head . All lies . What if this what if that . Don''t believe them . And do not let him control your emotions .

Look if it helps , go check out the drama triangle . Spot the game he is playing , then you can not play . He is being persecutor . Wise up . Do not play the game. He cannot hurt you. Once you wise up to him psychologically, you can easily turn the tables. However, be careful you do not persecute. If you do you are in the game .

So, dry your eyes . Relax have a bath whatever it is you do to relax . Enjoy the sunshine . it is what it is. Gather your composure .

I am sure others will be along so reassure you .

Best
Dx
All will be well

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