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What will happen?

  • Drift
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07 Jan 08 #10168 by Drift
Topic started by Drift
Well, in brief, i am new here and my ex girlfriend has stopped me seeing my chilren. We have a 7 and 3 year old and split over 3 years ago, i have always seen the kids, usually one weeknight and one weekend day. However she has let the kids start staying over my place recently and they met my new partner etc, my ex obviosly found this hard but has now flipped and stopped me seein them and thinks i want to play happy families with my girlfriend. Bottom line i have done alot for my ex since we split up and still pay the mortgage for our old home but let her live there. I pay for kids xmas/b day presents and parties yet she wont allow we to attend the b day parties :angry:i also help out with cash each month which i believe she will really miss but its not now due until the end of the month, i would not be surprised to see her come back telling me i can see the kids again when this money is due! I mow her lawns in the summer paid the finacne off her car afer i movd out etc and feel she is taking me for a ride.

Its spiralled out of control now with her stoping me seeing them and now wants me to speak to her through sols, now my solicitor is costing £190 p/h and its alot of money but worth it if i get my access back. She will get legal aid and it worries me that she could dag this out fo a while to spite me. I get on well with my kids but they are young and easily believe what she wants them too. She is a good mum but resents me for spliting up with her an now moving on but its taken two years of hiding my g friends existence to the kids!

I am meeting my solicitor wednesday to go through it all and she is a specialist in this area, what are the likely outcomes?

  • Specialdad
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08 Jan 08 #10200 by Specialdad
Reply from Specialdad
It looks like ex is emotionallly upset now, so may not play fair from now on.

So unless she comes to her senses and agrees things mutually. Its the route of courts, costs, contact orders, CSA, and generally hassle.

You, she and the children are in for a lot of emotional and financial suffering unfortunately.

  • loobyloo
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08 Jan 08 #10208 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
let the dust settle its hard for your x if she still has feelings for you BUT she is wrong using kids to punish you and she will see that cos kids will ask for you
dont worry sure storm in a tea cup

  • Canary667
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08 Jan 08 #10213 by Canary667
Reply from Canary667
My ex2b wanted me to communicate through solicitors regarding the children and I read up a lot and wrote the longest, most winding, windiest letters to his solicitors every opportunity I could - I was not going to be bullied into giving in due to financial distress brought on by lawyer costs, I refused to spend money which could be spent on my kids and not on lawyers, and most importantly, I wanted to make it clear that one day we would have to communicate regarding the children without the use of solicitors, therefore no time like the present, - just no upside to using sols when there are so many decent resources on-line and a brain between the ears.

  • Fiona
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08 Jan 08 #10236 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Court is always best avoided, especially when it comes to matters relating to children. Litigation tends to leave people feeling resentful and resistant which can lead to an ongoing cycle of provocation and retaliation. Do you have Parental responsibility?

Negotiation through solicitors doesn't have to be expensive if you make effective use of their time. Alternatively you could try mediation. If the matter is referred to Court, the Courts do support contact.

  • Drift
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08 Jan 08 #10252 by Drift
Reply from Drift
cheers people hopefully one or two letters will do it, nt really afford it to go on much more, especially like you said it could be spent on the kids!

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