Going abroad.

I had a phone call from my 5 year old daughter yesterday. She told me that she has just come back from France. I didn't even know she had a passport, let alone that she was out of the country! I told her how excited I was for her and she obviously had a great time, but I can't help but feel that it was wrong that her mother could take her abroad without informing me. I have parental responsabilty and regular contact with my daughter yet when it comes down to it I seem to have no say in any part of her life. She was even christened without my knowledge a couple of years ago! Can anyone tell me if it is perfectly ok for a parent to go through the process of getting a passport and taking a child abroad without the consent of the other?

hi Trev, so you didn't get a postcard then?

Ref going abroad, your ex is the main carer so doesn't need to get permission off you. Unfortunately i think you will need permission off your ex to take your daughter abroad.

Trev, yours is another example of poor behaviour from your ex-wife. I think its great that you composed yourself & reacted in a positive way for your daughter.

I can see why this is upsetting and think I'd be upset if I were in your place too. However, France isn't necessarily that far away - it depends on where you are in the country. I've done day trips and occasionally travelled there for a couple of days at very short notice when I found a bargain. If this is what happened, it would be a shame to make a fuss, especially as you reacted so well when your daughter told you about it. I'd suggest the best way forward would be a very calm note/e-mail explaining how pleased you are that your daughter had such a good time but that you'd like to know in advance next time she's going abroad (or on holiday in the U.K.). You can explain that there may be circumstances in which you would want to contact her and that you would worry if you tried to get in touch but didn't know where your daughter was.

I think there are bound to be times like this - probably on both sides - and it's best to avoid rows on the whole.

Obviously I don't know the whole story.