withdraw contact order

Hi.I wish to withdraw my contact order application and do not have a solicitor to represent me. The court has already issued a contact order for me to see my children and appointed a guardian for children as father (myself) and mother have been accused of each other (despite the fact I have been cleared from mother sexual abuse accusations by social services in the last court hearing; and I actually have accused of her having mental health problems which she has been having counselling services for last 15 years). After seeing my kids for the first time, I have experienced that they both are heavily influenced by their mum and their mind is messed up. She must have said something negative about me so that their behavior have dramatically changed, and they are even very reluctant to talk to me on the phone.So I have decided to withdraw my application for my kids best interest in the long term and would like to wait until they reach a certain age that they want to see me again. The next court hearing is the end of this month. What I would like to do is to send a letter to the court to explain the situation why I am withdrawing my application. Do you have any idea what court would do? And I even do not want to go to next court hearing to see my ex-wife. What should I do?

Hi. It sounds like your situation is extremely difficult.

I would urge you to rethink your position though. I think it would be preferable to ask Cafcass if they can provide a family support worker to help facilitate contact.

If their mother has indeed been telling them lies, allowing her several years to harden her position and substitute their reality for her own. None of us can even begin to predict the long term harm to your children''s emotional health and any prospect of a relationship with you in years to come.

Even if she has not been lying, only emphasising your negatives, it is likely that the outcome for the children will be similar.

I would urge you to read the following which relates to withdrawing an application for contact:
www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2003/3031.html

and this one (very long!) which relates to false accusations of sexual impropriety:

www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2003/1024.html

Whatever you do, I hope things work out for you and your family.