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contact with my kids

  • worrier
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09 May 12 #329515 by worrier
Topic started by worrier
my last post was 7 weeks ago.since that time my ex wife has not allowed me to see the kids at all.on bank holiday monday just gone I personally drove to the maternal grandmother''s house and rang the bell.my 8 year old daughter came to the door with her grandma and I asked her if she would like to come out with me, she replied "no". I said "it''s ok, grandma will not mind" and the grandmother''s reply was " I don''t stop them doing anything".I went home without my daughter. obviously there is a lot of brainwashing going on and I have not seen my kids for over 6 weeks. any suggestions please.

  • Fiona
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09 May 12 #329518 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
There are many reasons why children are resistant to contact and I don''t think you can assume your D has been brainwashed. If you aren''t seeing the children at all and negotiation or mediation isn''t possible there is little option than apply to start court proceedings.

Apart from a few exceptional cases, applicants in children cases need to arrange a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MAIM) and in some cases parents attend parenting information programmes before the court will first hear a case.

  • stepper
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09 May 12 #329522 by stepper
Reply from stepper
It''s always difficult to know for sure worrier. If there is any animosity, my feeling is that children do pick up on it.

It is hard to comment further without knowing the background, but I am a grandmother myself and my inclination would have been to ask you to come in for a cup of tea.

Mediation would be a start.

All the best to you.

  • somuch2know2
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09 May 12 #329525 by somuch2know2
Reply from somuch2know2
I was in a similar situation.. 1 week turned to 2 than 3 and before i knew it 6 months had passed without any meaningful contact.. 7 months, 8 months, 9- and finally 11 months on I got the balls to stand up to my wife and file a c100. Mediation was attempted several times before this.

Court papers were served last saturday and lets just say there has been a dramatic change in her attitude and my contact with the kids. I don''t force the older two but i do expect to have regular contact with my 6 year old....

Im happy- my wife now agrees to mediation but we are still going down the court route as until there is a contact order I am still subject to her dictating.

File the papers- it was the BEST advice I got on here.

  • Emma8485
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09 May 12 #329526 by Emma8485
Reply from Emma8485
Speaking as someone whos partners case took just shy of a year from the date of filing, Id file them now, even if mediation etc is on going in the meantime, it lets the other parent know you are serious.

Id write first, state that if no agreeemnts reached in 14 days then this is the process that they will have forced you to take - then enclose a copy with the court papers for when you fill in the bit relating to whether mediation has taken place.

As my partner had attempted to get her to mediation a few time he went straight to Directions, but I think the guidelines may have changed on this since last May


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