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What''s the best I can hope for?

  • trickyp
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21 May 12 #332091 by trickyp
Topic started by trickyp
Recent mutually agreed conclusion that our near 12 year marriage has broken down - no-one else involved except our 2 gorgeous kids aged 10 + 9.

She - who likes to party far too much (and one of marital issues...) - initially proposed I could have the kids one night during week and every Fri/Sat night too (allowing her to party still....)

I refused this ludicrous proposal, and said I wanted something which gave me ''approaching 50%'' over the year, which pretty much would be one night during week, Fri night->Mon morning alternative weekends, and a more than fair share of the holidays. (I get a lot of A/L, so am in a position to do this).

Everything I''ve read - here and elsewhere - states that if it went to court virtually certainly termtime arrangements will be as above, but I''d only get half the holidays.

I believe the difference in the proposals might trigger different CSA levels but that''s far from my motivation. I love my kids and have been very unhappy in marriage for 5+ years but stuck in there as long as I could.

My understanding is that I''ll have to pay (a lot) of spousal maintenance on top of the CSA - effectively the total of the two will be little different if I''ve got the extra contact I''m after.

I want more than the one night a week, Fri-Sun alternate w/ends + half holidays. But how often do ex-spouses manage to agree on something above this?

  • jonathancj
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29 May 12 #333834 by jonathancj
Reply from jonathancj
It''s all about what''s best for your children. Her proposal wasn''t ludicrous, just unappealing to you. Every weekend is much more than most parents get. How does her annual leave compare with yours? Can your leave and hers be matched so that the children can have the whole of the holidays with a parent? That would be quite appealing.

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