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13 Jun 12 #336381 by hawaythelads
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Hi Cazza,

I noticed in one of your posts you said that you told your husband you wanted a divorce when he was doing the gardening and he looked hurt.
As in effect you called time on the marriage he is very much pursuing the stance of you wanted to be on your own you''d better get on with it.
He does want to see his son but also he hates you that much that his contact with his son is his and does not entail helping you out at all in his non contact times.
Picking your son up from school even if it does benefit your son is outweighed by the fact that it would also benefit you.He will never do anything that benefits you especially when you also throw in to the mix that he suspects you were having an affair.
I don''t profess to be an expert on the machinations of a womans mind but a blokes I''m like a Dr Spock.
And yes he did deliberately ignore your text because he doesn''t like you and he won''t help you out at all.
That is your husbands mind set.
All the best
HRH xx

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13 Jun 12 #336425 by WYSPECIAL
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It''s the old "I pay her CM to look after the kids" scenario.

Far as he is concerned contact time is fun time.

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13 Jun 12 #336448 by blonde cazza
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I totally agree with both the last posts but we had already seperated when i asked for the divorce.I didnt see the point in seperating for 2 years then going through all the pain again.
He has made my life hell but ive never stopped him from seeing his son but like i said encouraged it.
You are right yes he does pay me child maintenance but even 350 doesnt go far for a 13 year old lad...thats just a little over 10pounds a day!
I think he can quite clearly see that im not having an affair and 17 months on im still not with anyone.
He was married before and ive never seen him like this even though his first wife did cheat on him.

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13 Jun 12 #336450 by hawaythelads
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He''s still in love with you.
That''s why he is so rsey about everything.
He can''t let go.
That''s why he stalks you and is obstructive.
He wants you but you don''t him so he''s hurt and therefore behaves this way.
That''s why he behaves as he does to you.
In this case the nasty actions are actually because he still wants you.

All the best
Pete

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13 Jun 12 #336457 by blonde cazza
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Sometimes it doesnt feel like that.I wanted to go to mediation 2 days later i got divorce papers through.Its my son i feel so sorry for to see his dad so angry at his mum thats why i encourage contact so much.

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13 Jun 12 #336471 by happyagain
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Sorry, back to the original post - was the night that you texted him a contact night? If it was, perhaps contact should be changed to him collecting from school or not at all, that p;uts the onus on him to do his share.

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13 Jun 12 #336475 by blonde cazza
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No not a contact night but in statement of arrangements he is supposed to be collecting him 2 days a week but wont confirm days...this has been going on since janaury.He does his weekend contact ok but not the midweek one all he says is he cant because of work so kind of feel im banging my head against a brick wall.I work too but he doesnt seem to see that point of view it seems its all about him!
Our son had an operation on his toe today so have let him know its gone ok and asked him if he could get slippers in size 9 for weekend for his stay at his once again no reply.
This man kicked up a right fuss last year saying hes not getting enough contact infact his solicitors words were is this is the only contact our client will get fri 6pm to sun 9am hence why the 2 days were added.He worked then and works now so why make all that fuss in the first place?...he just seems controlling xx

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