I can''t breathe - he wants custody

Please can someone help. Having been absent for a year with only occasional contact my ex now wants custody. This only started because he lied to the children about contact and they would not go with him. He perceives it as me preventing access. He tried to hit me over the head in front of the children. And now I have to pay to stop this - any advice???

try not to panic - it''s more than likely a lot of hot air. Keep a diary of incidents and if there''s any hitting or any threatening, involve the police without hesitation. If he takes you to court, from what you have written in that short paragraph,it''s unlikely he''s going to get anywhere. Try to avoid any door-step discussions, do everything via e-mail so you have a written record.

From his point of view, he''s now in a situation where his children don''t want to see him. It''s far easier to blame you for that than look to his own behaviour. My ex has recently ''returned'' from a 15 month absence although fortunately, our children have been happy to see him and we are making a good go of contact. But it could so easily have gone the other way if there had been reluctance on the part of the children.

And as my solicitor used to say..he can want but that doesn''t necessarily mean he''s going to get!