How does court order requiring flexibility work?

Finnished 6 days of hearing over contact and residence with a rush to draft the court order. One part of it relates to contact by father once every 4 weeks on one of the weekend days from 10am-6pm. The draft order then goes on to say that timing shall be flexible ''by agreement in advance''. I offered this contact and I intended it to be 10-6. Other side wanted it to be 10-8 but I refused, then they came up with the ''flexible'' wording. Then we were rushed back into court and it got put into the draft Consent Order but the order was not made in court as there were still drafting issues to concluded. Now I would dearly like to remove this reference to flexibility as I fear it could be a source of problems (there is history). Solicitor thinks it doesn''t matter because of the ''by agreement'' phrase. Should I hold out to try to change the wording?

humdrum wrote:

Solicitor thinks it doesn''t matter because of the ''by agreement'' phrase.

I agree with your solicitor. The flexibility only comes into it if you agree in advance with your ex. All you have to do is say "no" and he is without a leg to stand on.

True, but then he could return it to court to say ''look, I have tried to be flexible, as stated in the order, but my requests are being ignored''. Then it could be made into a permanent order.

I doubt that very much. The order says 10-6. He would have to show good reason why it should be changed to 10-8 on a permanent basis and without the mother''s agreement I find it highly unlikely.

More likely is that he will simply return the kids at 8 and say he was stuck in traffic, just finishing a TV programme, they were eating, whatever feeble excuse of the week. Cross that bridge when/if you come to it, though.

I respectfully disagree. If there is a mention of additional time being agreed then there is an expectation that this should happen some of the time. It also seems to be how judges help parents to move to more flexible parenting over time - little bits here and there may eventually build into a pattern. This was certainly how the judge in my husband''s case explained it, and he and his ex are now almost at this point.

happyagain wrote:

If there is a mention of additional time being agreed then there is an expectation that this should happen some of the time.

Agreed. SOME of the time. Not all of the time.

I suppose the key would be does the order say additional time to be agreed or flexible?

Additional time would be 10 until 8

Flexible time 12 until 8


Either way I wouldnt worry about massively, it says by agreement, and he wont have your agreement.

Additional contact by agreement is a standard phrase tagged on a court order. Its meaningless basically. 90% of the time whilst the court order is supposed to be your minimum time, it ends up being your maximum.