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Why is the usual process for incremental contact

  • khan72
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09 Aug 12 #348475 by khan72
Topic started by khan72
I have never understood why contact is incremental. 2 hours a fortnight supervised. 2 hours supported. 2 hours outside centre... and so on.
Some fathers have been very active and are quite independent. Time have changed. I looked after my ill parents. To be honest its more difficult looking after old people than children. eg toileting, bathing etc.
Why do courts insist on building hours and treating every man like incompetent fools. I have never understood this.
When my ex was ill i looked after my daughter, ex, cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed and still had time for films in the evening. The laws are just way behind the times and social norms. Men can be just as good.
So its fine for ex to drop off my daughter to her parents for a few days. But me, the father, is considered differently. Ex can get a child minder for a day, but i have to build hours? The world has gone mad.

  • Felixstowe
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09 Aug 12 #348482 by Felixstowe
Reply from Felixstowe
Having read a lot of your posts I truly feel for you and I''m no lawyer or know for definate why but my guess would that it builds confidence both with you and the child. Grandparents are usually well known to the child and parent so trusted, childminders have experience and are CRB checked.

If its your contact that gaining slowly from observed to being on your own then you know it''s going in the right direction so in time it''ll be what you want!

  • khan72
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09 Aug 12 #348485 by khan72
Reply from khan72
My daughter already recognises me. She come to me when she is worried or startled (eg by a pigeon). The natural reaction of parent and child are there. She is going to be 2 next month. I am missing some great times with her. We are both victims here. I just wish courts would just be more flexible in regards to contact and allow me to bring my daughter home. Not every father is useless. its a stereotype that courts need to discard.

...Oh well, life is a struggle. I don;t know when Karma will kick-in, but its not soon enough for me.


  • Yummy_Mummy
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09 Aug 12 #348488 by Yummy_Mummy
Reply from Yummy_Mummy

You miss her we ll thats normal and shows how much you care. She''ll want you and then nothing will stop her. You are doing great. You are smart, intelligent, caring and helpful. Your daughter will have you and you will have her.

I bet many will say wish our stbx were like you - caring and considerate putting the kids first.

Don''t worry Karma is round the corner, which one? And how soon? I don''t know. Hoping for it myself really.

Keep Strong.


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