A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Court Orders and minimum contact

  • Enuff Already
  • Enuff Already's Avatar Posted by
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
08 Sep 12 #354614 by Enuff Already
Topic started by Enuff Already
I have read a few posts on here about how hard it is to maintain contact as RP''s (in some cases) are trying to frustrate contact. I still have an up hill struggle after all these years. I don''t get anywhere near what I originally wanted and just cannot afford court anymore and think my kids have been exposed to enough. U6 poster hit the nail onthe head when he said that a RP is not in charge of contact to be generous or stingy with it, it is a childs right to have a fruitful relationship with both parents. I have it written into my court order that the ex and I can agree additional contact between us. This has NEVER happened. Every single request has been met with a short sharp no! (if she answers at all). I don''t ask anymore. We were supposed to share inset days. THAT has NEVER happened either. As far as she is concerned my access is the minimum detailed in the court order not a second more. If I happen to run 5 mintes late on drop off, that 5 minutes is deducted from my next pick up. She doesn''t even see that the clause to agree additional contact applies to her. I can''t be doing the constant fighting anymore so I just take my lot and enjoy the time I have with the kids. The system isn''t fair and it doesn''t work when the RP doesn''t want it to.

  • MrsMathsisfun
  • MrsMathsisfun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
08 Sep 12 #354631 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
It is very hard going when one party controls the contact and is totally inflexible.

My partner has also accepted that there in no point requesting any changes regarding contact with his ex. He has finally realised that he couldnt communicate with his ex when they were married. Why did he ever think it was going to be any easier when divorced!!

I find it extremely tough being the partner in this situation especially as I have always been flexible with my childrens father. Its a real shock to discover how self centred some people can be.

To me it really does seem like a control issue, that the ex cant quite let go of my partner even though she was the one who had the affair!!

  • Enuff Already
  • Enuff Already's Avatar Posted by
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
08 Sep 12 #354632 by Enuff Already
Reply from Enuff Already
What makes someone change so much, I am not sure who the girl I married was cos she certainly isn''t the woman who looks after my kids now. They say love is blind but surely I would have seen this side of her at some point during our relationship but I didn''t not one single time. She was a gentle person that would go out of her way to help others, fantastic sense of humour, happy to leave me lookign after the kids for her girlie hen do to Ibiza, now... Geez... I get Medusas twin!!

  • Chained
  • Chained's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
08 Sep 12 #354679 by Chained
Reply from Chained
Someone once told me that you never know the person you marry, until you divorce them.

Unfortunately, it is proven to be true.

  • blonde cazza
  • blonde cazza's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
08 Sep 12 #354682 by blonde cazza
Reply from blonde cazza
I agree with what chained just said.
I too have been through hell with my ex where during divorce he insisted he wanted more contact with our son.
He now gets every friday to sun one week sun 9am next sunpm.
I have been more then reasonable with him to the point where you get exhausted from his requests.
I asked him if he would like to take his son to school on his first day back didnt reply and now we are only on our second sunday of all day contact and hes asked to drop him back 2 hrs early!.
Ive spent thousands with this man who would only send solicitors letters and will be paying off this debt for the next 3 years to finanlly realise that he doesnt want his son...its all about control in this case!

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.