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  • estranged_father
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14 Sep 12 #355846 by estranged_father
Topic started by estranged_father

altenate weekend contact
weekly midweek staying contact


i have applied to have shared holidays and extend alternate weekend from sun evening to mon morning.

ex has counter applied to remove midweek staying contact - reasons given (school disruption) were dismissed at the Directions as untrue following letter from school.

my question:

judge gave a preliminary view that holidays will be shared and weekend fri-mon is logical (so looks like my proposals will be well recevied at the contested hearing)

the judge did imply he didnt like midweek staying contact and for me to consider a teatime - the order for weekly staying contact was made 2 years ago (when child was 3) and no issues have been raised, it was also made at an appeal hearing in the high court.

please can someone advice how i can address this - it sounds like he is going to apease my ex, despite her reasons being proven untrue - reverting back to a weekend dad arrangement when the weekly staying contact is so established and effectively stopping school involvement can only be detremental in my option.

please, advice desperately required?

  • disneybunny
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14 Sep 12 #355897 by disneybunny
Reply from disneybunny
Agree with your ex and the judge, sorry. Mid week staying contact would be disruptive.

  • u6c00
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14 Sep 12 #355899 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
Disney the judge clearly rejected that midweek was disruptive. Your post is again anti-contact and not helpful to the thread.

How about the following arrangements:

Week 1: Thursday after school - Monday morning.
Week 2: Friday after school - Saturday 9.00 am.

That way you still have weekly contact and can still be involved with the school. It means that the ''midweek'' is less disruptive because the next day is a weekend and means less handovers (if those are a source of conflict).

The downside is that if your ex wants the full weekend you will have to accept that your contact will need to change around that (as it would be unreasonable to resist changing your contact if your ex were to, for example, want to go on a weekend away).

  • Yummy_Mummy
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14 Sep 12 #355905 by Yummy_Mummy
Reply from Yummy_Mummy

There is no reason why midweek contact cannot continue. If this has been going on for some time, it is likely to cause disruption.

Her reasons need to be specific. Is it that midweek contact with overnight could cause disruption?
Another option is midweek contact with no overnight and your son returns back home at a reasonable time.

I would suggest that you consider asking for overnight stay. This way you are able to provide decent dinner and breakfast, do homework and other activities which include play, bath, homework, bed...
This will provide consistency and routine for your child.
You could pick and drop the child from and to school as well.

Alternate weekend is a good request.
However weekend from sunday evening to monday morning is disruptive and poor.
This will not allow adequate time. You need reasonable time like the weekend with your child.

Too many changes during the week could be confusing and disruptive again.

Both parents need to remain involved and child-focused unless there are concerns in which case social services should be involved.

Holidays are usually shared and halved, i.e. 50:50.

You need adequate and regular contact time with your child and not in dribs and drabs.

Best Wishes

  • disneybunny
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14 Sep 12 #355939 by disneybunny
Reply from disneybunny
It may seem that way but if te judge has decided against it as they do not approve what is the point of building the blokes hopes up.Midweek contact a in after school till evening could continue no problem. Sometimes people need to be realistic.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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14 Sep 12 #355949 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
The judge said he didnt like midweek contact not that he was going to go against it. The OP needs to come up with a valid reason why it isnt distruptive and in the best interest of the children.

I really would suggest a thursday/ friday as it would be less disruptive.

  • Elphie
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14 Sep 12 #355970 by Elphie
Reply from Elphie
If handovers are conflicted then this would be a good arguement for continuing a midweek overnight - if you pick up from school one day and return to school the next morning, this means no additional handovers with your ex.
Also, it could be argued that a regular midweek night is easier for a young child to remember and get used to to it being thursday one week, and Friday the next. (although, that''s just an arguement to support your preferred contact pattern, I think the pattern suggested by U6 and mathsisfun is a good backup that would still get you the increased, regular contact your seek)
Also, emphasis that a judge has previously found the midweek overnight not to be disruptive, as has the school.

Can I just clarify, in your op you mean you want to extend your alternate weekend contact, it is currently friday to Sunday evening, you want it to be friday to Monday morning, right? You don''t mean, you want contact to start Sunday evening and ending Monday morning?

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