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Another few questions re contact order

  • 2littleboys
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25 Sep 12 #357778 by 2littleboys
Topic started by 2littleboys
My ex took me to court a few months ago as he wanted joint contact for our 6 year old son but would not commit to a set day at the weekend, it did not go the way he planned and the sheriff gave him contact every Sat night for the first 3 weekends of the month and then the last weekend my son was to spend at home, plus afterschool contact for a few hours on a Wednesday. The sherrif was brutal with him as my ex admitted " I dont want him every Sat night, I want a social life as well" to which the sheriff asked what was his priority?

Afterwards I received a lot of threatening texts from my ex as he thought he could still just turn up on my doorstep and take our son when suited him as he wants to work his social life around his contact which is not on, all I wanted was some structure.

However this month there are 5 saturdays in the month and he has started the threatening and abusive texts again as he wants to get our son on Friday night - he has not turned up for his after school contact with him the past two Wednesday nights, so he has now threatened me with going back to court as he is not getting his own way, just wondered what the likelihood of this would be and where I stand as I cant afford another batch of legal fees.

  • sleepybird
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25 Sep 12 #357796 by sleepybird
Reply from sleepybird
Can i ask what his reasons are for taking you back to court?

Have you breached the contact order in anyway?

I would send him an email explining that when he takes wednesday after school contact seriously then you will be more keen to offer additional contact and make allowances.

If hes not sticking to whats in the order then I wouldnt worry about him taking you back to court as he''s have no grounds to.

Also from reading your previous posts it seems I am on the other side of the coin as it were regarding your son saying he doesnt want to see his daddy.

My partner also has a contact order and is going through this at the moment and son has told mum all sorts of things that arent true about staying with us.i.e he sleeps in bed with us, he fights with my daughter, its boring, my partner smacks him, he was left alone in the bath and banged his head (he is 5) none of this happenend at all and he always has a great time with us, and on occasions has asked to stay longer but he seems to feel he needs to feed back negatively to his mum.

We also received a text from her before we were due to take him on holiday caravanning in august saying that he doesnt want to go. My partner ignored this and collected him as usual and as soon as he got in the car he was raving about how exceited he was about the holiday, my partner asked him if he felt he didnt want to come the night before and he said ''no i was only joking, ive been excited for ages''

he had a fantastic time and didnt ask after his mum once.

Just thought id share this with you as it may give you some insight into how it is from the other side.

I think the best thing you can do for your son is encourage contact as much as possible, try not to talk about contact with him i.e dont you want to go to your daddys'' this enforces that you are uneasy about him going.

My partners son is now coming out with things like ''mummy wont love me anymore if i go with daddy'' so thats how bad our situation has become.

I can understand you must be worried but Children dont know what they want from one minute to the next and giving them the option is harming and confusing for them.

As far as your partner goes he needs to keep to the order in place and I would tell him this, he wanted contact and he got it.

hope this helps a bit.

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