Should I push for CAMHS? Advice for son

Hi All

As some of you know my case has been adjourned for mediation. Tonight I picked my kids up and my son complained that ex''s brother upset him and made him cry on Sunday evening (a long story but her brother is a man in his 40''s that still lives with his mum and my ex and kids and the children don''t like him because he is a bit of a bully). My son also asked me to ask mum if it would be ok for me to take him to school when mum is not there. She gets anybody but me to do it. As usual she just said no and ''stick to the court order'', etc.
She went on to say the kids complain about me to her (see my other posts about her lies to social services).

I have the number for the nurse that was going to do a CAMHS Referral. As my son in particular is complaining and I feel has no voice (CAFCASS wanted to do a full report but the Judge ordered against it) the nurse could make the referral. If he gets the CAMHS Referral it will mean an ''independent'' area will ahve some sort of report on what he is feeling and wanting and this hopefully cary some weight in getting my son heard through the courts at some point. He will also probably benefit from some ''emotional support''.

Can anybody offer any advice?

Thanks from Mark

Judges can be wrong. Just remember, you can question a judge on the grounds on which they based their decision. If you feel that any decision will conflict with paramountcy, then say so. They can and do change their decisions.

Hi Mark

You are right. I think best thing to do is contact the CAHMS Nurse. I would also suggest that you contact the GP and explain. Check with school and ask for Family Intervention and Support for your son.

These agencies may work together or only one can help to avoid any confusion.
I persoanlly think agencies ought to work together.

I have been told that nothing can be done if the case is going on but you do need to push for it for your son''s sake.

In emergencies, you could encourage your child to speak with ChildLine as they have child counsellors and are completely confidential. Nothing will go to Court though.

Information from Schools, CAHMS, GP can be requested by Court for the safety and wellbeing of the child.

If you can afford it, there are counsellors who he can see on a private basis and sometime they may do ''family'' support where it is you, him and the counsellor but the focus will be on your son.

Please PM me if there is anything I can do.
Kind Regards.

Hi and thank you.

I am going to contact the nurse on Monday and just put them in the picture. The drop offs last week were awful and my son told me my ex and my daughter had an awful fight on Thur night which led to my ex crying in bed and my son comforting her.

Both of my kids are under 10 and my daughter the youngest so the fact my ex seems to behave on an almost equal level is worrying. My son also talked about ''my daughter being horrible so he protecting mum?

Weird - but the kids should not be worrying about sort of looking after a parent - very worrying.

Thanks again. x

Hi

The difficulty with a CAMHs referral is that mum would probably need to support it given the kids live with her some of the time. CAMHs usually want to see the parents as well at some point as their role is to work with the whole system not just the child. You will need to make it clear appointments have to be offered on your times so you can support if they accept the referral. I can see from your point of view you want someone else other than you to witness/acknowledge what your son is saying and offer him some help with it. Is there a counsellor in school he could see?

You are in proceedings so sadly this can be the elevated emotional content of that situation. Hopefully when the legal issues are resolved it will calm down and there wont be this attempt to discredit another parent in such a damaging way. Extended family really would work best by not trying to force children into taking sides but I know from experience, alot cant do that. This does get easier when the decisions are finally made - do you know how much longer thats going to be?

Regards

Hi

It''s not very easy to get seen by anyone at CAMHS as you need to meet a very strict criteria .

You may be better off having a TAC instead

Although not read all your posts as am pretty new and have only had a brief look before

My son was referred to CAMHs prior to our separation but did not get seen until after the split. I was seen with my son and then my stbex was seen alone. I get the feeling he tried to tell her it was all my fault and I was imagining my sons problems, luckily they saw through that.
Although I can''t say the have done much to help me,it makes me feel like the help is there if i or indeed my son need it. There as also be a massive improvement with him as well. The nurse also referred the whole family to therapy to help us deal with the emotions of the separation (i requested this as I felt my kids were bottling their emotions up so as not to upset me- turns out I was wrong!), although there was a long wait but maybe that could be an option for you.
My advice would be to contact the CAMHs team or your sons GP, it can''t do any harm for you to talk to them.
gud luck