Rumours

Is there really anything you can do to stop the ex spreading rumours?
I''ve had all sorts get back to me, from him telling everyone I was going to put her up for adoption and not let him have her, that we were moving to Germany and so on.

The latest, is that she was extremely ill with a hole in her heart, and that she died just before her birthday.

Obviously it isn''t true! Normally things he says pass over me, but this one has made me feel a bit sick. I mean who tells people their child has died when it''s not true?!

It''s been almost a year now since he last saw her. The attempts to arrange contact with him failed. He then tried to have me done for harassment for contacting him. So tried to arrange contact with his mum. That failed too when she cancelled and said she would ''get back to me'' that was in August.

So is there anything I can really do? Apart from tell people she isn''t dead when they come up to me!

What a sick individual he must be.

Hold your head up high my lovely and when you tell people what he has said isn''t true then it''s his reputation that diminishes in their eyes.

My ex does not have a bonifide relationship with our son, I have offered excessive and copious amounts of contact but it is never accepted. Intermittent irregular contact for 2 years, no contact at all for 1 year, then Saturday 10 - 4 was how it was for 4 years and for the last two months we have 1pm Sat till 2pm Sunday alternate weeks (over nights Yay) only took 7 years...

It''s not often I''m lost for words, but telling people your own child has died?! It must be not only distressing to you, but people who are acquainted with you and/or your daughter.

I wonder if the tall stories are either part of his Aspergers, (I''m sure someone with knowledge of AS will correct me) or as a way to deal with the fact he no longer sees his daughter - which has been down to him, as I know how hard you have worked at trying to keep contact going.

Would a strongly worded sols letter do anything? Or an ad in the local paper stating that your daughter is alive and well, or simply putting people straight when they ask if your daughter is ill/you are moving to the moon/etc?

I haven''t got a solicitor anymore, as we finished it all when the court dismissed the case 2 years ago.
I also don''t have a clue where he lives to send a letter to.
I did think about telling his mum to have a word, but she always stands by him obviously, and claims whatever I say isn''t true and I don''t think she ever speaks to him.
At the minute I''m just telling anyone who sends condolences that it ISN''T true, and she''s perfectly healthy!

What s sicko. Did you know one in 20 people has a personality disorder. One in 100 have a rather psycho disorder. Try looking in the NHS website for personality disorder type. I believe its cluster B or type II. Have a look at the traits and see if you recognise a few traits.
There is a particular disorder which affects more men than women and traits can be
- Decietful
- Manipulative
- Emotionally abusive
- Calculating
- Lack of empathy
- No ability to laugh at oneself with others
....and very vindictive as, in their mind, its all your fault.

The antisocial personality disorder, pretty much describes him to a T. But he also has Aspergers Syndrome which has similar symptoms.

Cool. The next step is to get him officially diagnosed Thats a bit of a difficult step but if you are in court proceedings, it is possible that the judge can order both parents to be assessed by a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Have as little to do with your ex as possible. This is how some of them think.
"If I cannot get positive attention from you, I will get negative attention from you. I just want attention. I don''t care which one." - Do not feed the Troll. Worry not, it won''t be long before he loses sympathy with all of your mutual friends. The more he bad-mouths, the quicker they will realise how sick he is. As men with disorders can be violent, you might wish to apply for a non-molestation order. Unfortunately, the devious sickos only harass you to a limit. Both are dangerous and stressful to deal with.