Down & Depressed

My partner has been divorced for a few months. Now he has just got to sort out the finances. It has been complete hell so far and they haven't even been to mediation yet.I pick up his children every weekend and take them home as him and his x don't even speak anymore because of the problems his x has caused. When i pick the children up she speaks to me like i am piece of s**t. I don't think that she can be jealous that i am with her x because she had an affair and kicked him out. (i didn't meet my partner until after they separated).I feel stupid because i feel more depressed and down than my partner does and i'm not even the one that has got divorced!! I am starting to feel shaky and having anxiety attacks which i haven't had for a few years. I just don't know what to do.

Has anyone got any advice??

Holly

My personal opinion on this (as you have not stated the age of the children) is keep out of this "children picking up routine". If they are old enough, ley them decide.

I am sure you will get mixed opinions of this.

As cruel as this sounds, this is your parnter's problems, and unfortunately, he has come with baggage, and you have get heavily involved in this.

Look after yourself and health.

Say no to the children pickup.

This will slowly eat you and your r'ship up.

Take your time, and re-look at this setup. How long can you carry on like this. Is this way of living worth the r'ship you now have?

Ultimatley, this is your decision, but I have a feeling things are not going to get better quickly.... worse still, not being funny, you could get involved as the "gossip" person... going to and fro

My advise is be careful.. take things slowly.

Good luck, chin up :O)


ps, I hope I have not hurt or upset you

Thanks for your reply

You have not hurt or upset me as i am glad to have an honest opinion from you.

The reason that i am picking the children up is that the x is the type of person to say that he attacked her etc when he hasn't so therefore if he doesn't see her then she will not have the chance to try to accuse him of something that he has not done. I understand that me picking the children up can not be a long term thing but for now it seems the best way. The children are 3, 5, 7 & 9. I get on very well with all 4 children and they are very happy having me picking them which is most important to me.

I have a very special relationahip with my partner so i do not feel that i could finish it just because he has baggage. I went into the relationship knowing that he had baggage but i think that i may have been a little silly thinking that every thing would be easy.

He has been told by his solicitor that the finances will take 6 - 7 months to complete the sorting of the finances as it is only the house that is the asset so i think i just need to try and forget about it as much as i can.

One thing you did mention is that i could be known as the "gossip girl". I completely understand where you are coming from. However, i do not discuss anything what so ever with his x except where the children are concerned (eg. what time to pick them up. Everything regarding the finances is left to the solicitors and i have no intention of getting involved in this (as you said,this is not my problem). I have never argued with her, insulted her or got angry with her so i really don't think that anyone has any grounds to accuse me of anything.

Many thanks for your reply, i am going to take your advice by looking after myself and my health and put me first.

Holly

Hi Holly. This just goes to prove that she has feelings for him. I get the same. And she cheated on me. When I go out with my mates (One of which is femail) I get the daggers. So does my freind. What I do is blank her and so does my freind. Thats how I deal with it. Sod her. Its becuase of her that you are with yr BF. Its her problem if she cant be adult about it too bad. I would be enclined to walk up and say "wana f***ing picture love?". F