wake up call

Been trying to contact the x2b all evening to discuss a matter to do with one of my sons. He wouldn''t answert so went round to OW''s house. They were cosied up on settee. I talked at him thro window. Told him needed to talk about one of my children (they''re his a s well but I think of them as mine now). Had alraedy left numerous messages telling him needed to diswcuss somethin important. He refused to come and talk to me.

I knew he was a twit but didn''t realise how much of one. I cannot believe that he would put her first. I cannot believe that he would put anyone or anything above my children.

I have hated him for a very long time now. Today that has reached new levels. I now realise I am on my own completely. I will never tell him anything about them again. But I feel so sad for them that I chose a father who actually only cares about himself.

Feel very very sad.

yellow rose,
Empathise entirely,7 months on and my hatred for him goes deeper every day.

Had a bit of a family crisis today and my 2 daughters very upset text him and then he gets all defensive about himself and his sl=g
telling me i,m out of order to call her that,
well she is one and he''s the male equivalent think the word i''m looking for is bas==rd.

Then he turns it and says look i know your hurting;who the feck does this ars==hole think he is, he is no Brad Pitt he does not know the meaning of the word hurt.

Same as your own ex put the sl=g first never mind their flesh and blood,thankfully on here you realise not all men the same we just happened to get lumbered with the bas==rds.

luv and cwtchs to u xx

Hi Yellowrose,

That''s awful, but good on you for trying to keep communication open. You''re braver than I am, can''t imagine I''d ever want to go round ex''s house and see them sitting on settee!

Realising that I chose to have my kids with such a pr/ck is what hurts me most on a daily basis. My own parents split when I was 10 and I lost contact with my Dad for several years. He didn''t come to my wedding. I now see him 3-4 times a year. He clearly regrets it but we accept the situation for what it is now. He feels like an old family acquaintance rather than my Dad, whenever he suggests me going to stay I back away.

I would do as you say, get on with things, accept he''s no longer there to support you in matters of the family. Try your mum/sister/best mate instead. Don''t expect anything from him and you cannot be disappointed.

Take care xx

Wow, that''s awful. It makes me very sad as well. Good for you for trying.

It makes me very sad when I hear of NRPs who just wash there hands of their children in this way. Clearly the matter you wished to discuss was important and he should give a lot more thought to his children.
No doubt if you make a descision about your son''s future that he doesn''t bother discussing with you and then doesnt''t like it you will be in the wrong.

I don''t know if you are looking for answers, sadly I can''t offer any other than to stand with you in amazment at his lack of involvment.

LB

How pathetic is he ..............he will be the loser in the long run..........

I personally feel that generally people who get divorced don''t actually like each other
I personally know that whenever the ex harridan rings me it will be for one thing because she wants something.
A) MONEY
EXTRA BABYSITTING SERVICE FOR HER SOCIAL ACTIVITIES OR TO SWAP WEEKENDS TO ACCOMODATE HER SOCIAL ACTIVITIES.
C) TO MOAN ABOUT THE KIDS BEHAVIOUR BECAUSE SHE WILL HAVE HAD SOME MASSIVE ARGUMENT WITH THEM AND IS BORDERLINE PSYCHOTIC SO COVERS HERSELF BY ACTING THE CONCERNED PARENT.
Generally when I speak to the kids I will get a very different side to the story.

As I now know the only time she rings is to suit her or trouble I often don''t pick up the phone.

I suspect your relationship is hostile at the moment so I would think he probably didn''t need to have another potential argument.Going round the house and talking through a window to him ain''t that rational behaviour really.
I know this is a support site and this isn''t a dig at all just an observation that do you really want to be portrayed as the looney embittered ex misus shouting at him through the window of the house.
You could potentially be reported for harrasment.
I think the encouragement at going round his house is misplaced for your well being.
That is not helpful to you to do that you must have been wound up like an alarm clock to have done that.
Believe me I can''t empathise with how u felt the ex harridan although she lives with the kids is an Absolute cxxx of a parent.She held onto the kids for financial gain the rest of her life is all about her.She makes no emotional investment in them.
You just have to determine well I can''t change them and believe me selfish xxxxx do not change.So you have to decide no point in even trying to pretend we can co-parent.We will have to parallel parent at best.
E.G. yesterday evening I get out of work at 6pm and the ex harridan phones me.
I looked at the phone and literally thought Oh feck answering this.
However I pick it up.
She''s straight in moaning about my 12 year old daughters behaviour because she lost her door keys and spends too much time on her mobile and laptop and goes out too much.
So she''s taken them off her and stopped her going out today.But my daughter was crying because she said she had arranged to come to mine last night.But hadn''t been able to confirm as she didn''t have her phone.
I said yeah well when you texted me to ring her Saturday night because she was cying that she didn''t see me enough I said come over Wednesday or Thursday but didn''t hear anything.(Saturday night she had been left home alone between 6pm and 10pm I subsequently found out)
I said anyway if you are keeping her in It''ll be nice for you two to have a night in together.
OH I WON''T BE HERE I''VE GOT A GIRLS NIGHT OUT I''M GETTING PICKED UP IN QUARTER OF AN HOUR!!!
So again she was gonna make the daughter stay in home alone. I went and picked my daughter up.
IY YOU ARE LUMBERED WITH A SELFISH XXXX OF AN EX THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO ALTER THEIR BEHAVIOUR!!
DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF LOOK MENTAL THOUGH NO MATTER HOW GREAT YOUR FRUSTRATION!!
All the best
Pete xx