need hugs

My two cats sense that i''m sad and come and cuddle up and support me which they didn''t do previous to my wife starting the divorce. I don''t know why i''m so sad. Sometimes it makes you wonder where they get these people from who take away your medicine when you are asking/crying for help and they make it worse. What really helped me was a suicide website where i read about other peoples problems and it made me realise i was lucky to have my health and a roof over my head and my pain and suffering was made to look in proportion as it probably is... quite real and painful to me but in the grand scheme of things not so important and i went from my suffering which seems ''to take you over'' to feeling for them and their real physical suffering on top of the emotional suffering that they are under. By reading the horrendous things that relatives and parents and employers and the government or medical services are are doing to people in their care i was so overwhelmed that it took me out myself and into their lives to want to do something but there is nothing i can do except try write and tell them something nice. Not that it helps but it is amazing that the internet can open the world up so that you don''t feel so locked up alone in your head. When i''m in the garden the cats follow me around and i often look at the world through their eyes. When i look at me i think how tall he is and it must be nice to look over all the bushes and see whats on the other side. But then i think why can''t he jump up onto the fence and sit in the sun and look at the world go by. As a cat i think each day is something that comes slowly as the light gets brighter and banishes the darkness and then i go around the house and check to see if any mice have come in and then around the garden to see what has changed and that gives me some exercise and i jump up onto the fence and walk along the top to the garage roof and lie up there watching the world go by. People do strange things and put funny hats on and drink coloured water and fluids until they fall over but its just another lovely day to me. Oh-oh! there''s that pesky stray who keeps trespassing i''d better chase him away before that stupid man of mine falls for his meows and puts some of my food down for him.

Gaian,

I agree, pets can be a huge source of comfort and companionship, more so when we are experiencing a traumatic event in our lives.

Family break-up, separation and divorce are incredibly stressful times in our lives, and have an enormous emotional impact on us.

At times, it can feel like you are drowning, completely overwhelmed by what you are going through, and that there is no "light at the end of the tunnel" - despite what others are saying to you.

It is important to know that you are not alone, and there is no need to suffer in silence. While our members here are very supportive and offer and provide much-needed empathy and shoulders to lean on, we can''t provide the same level of support that professional organisations who have properly trained staff that deal with people suffering from depression, emotional stress, etc.

If you need to talk to someone, the Samaritans have a phone line that is staffed 24 hours a day, every day - you can call them on 08457 90 90 90. The Samaritans will listen to you and help you talk through your concerns, worries and troubles. www.samaritans.org

The Depression Alliance is a fantastic resource and offers a lot of different support services through their website - www.depressionalliance.org

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is a support organisation for men who are suffering from depression, or who find themselves in some sort of crisis with which they may need additional help and support to overcome. THey also ahve a helpline, and you can find out more on their website - www.thecalmzone.net

Breathing Space offers tools and support services to men, their website offers more information and details of how to contact them - www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk


Your GP will also be able to provide you with medical support and suggest local organisations in your area that will be able to help you.

Having depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it will affect one in four people at any given time, it is an illness that you will recover from, with the right help and support.

You do not need to suffer alone and in silence. If you feel that you need to talk to someone, then please contact one of the organisations listed above.

Ruth

Great to read you had seen your GP and are pushing yourself to get out of the house rather than be kept in by fear of having panic attacks - well done and keep it up!! I hope you meet some nice people with Meetup.
It''s worth planning ahead for Christmas - is there someone you can spend the day with, or a charity you could help out? It will be tough, the first of everything is going to be quite emotional, but others are here to support you.

Hi and many thanks for the kind words and the information.So helpful of you and it raises my spirit such a lot.

I did it, I went on my first meetup yesterday. It was a welcome relief to spend time with people in the same situation as myself. Got alot of comfort knowing there are genuine people out there offering company and support.
Separation and pending Divorce can be a lonely place, cant recommend meetup enough.

Well done goldengirl!

I have been going to meetups for quite a while now and it is just so good to get out there and meet and talk to people in similar situations. There are a lot of us out there!

Glad your spirits have been lifted a little gaian.

Well done! Meeting up with others in the same situation makes you feel better, it''s not just you!