A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

I think I have finally stopped crying

  • NotasStressedDad
  • NotasStressedDad's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
28 Dec 14 #452307 by NotasStressedDad
Topic started by NotasStressedDad
Well its been along time coming but since April 2013 I have cried and cried every single day following my family breakdown. Ive struggled working full time and as a single dad, and dealing with all the sh*t that the ex has thrown at me and made it through two christmases and think (fingers crossed) I am slowly on the mend.

Over the last couple of months the crying has slowed as my new life and new roles and routines have now become the norm. Ive started laughing agin. I even had a good day on my own with my daughter at christmas and something I could not even have anticipated at the start of the year. I didnt think I would make it or have the strength to get here.

This site is a god send and a big thanks to everyone that posts their help and support on here.

  • fluffyninja
  • fluffyninja's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
28 Dec 14 #452308 by fluffyninja
Reply from fluffyninja
Well done! There is light at the end of the tunnel, though for some the tunnel is longer. The light will gradually become brighter and you will eventually emerge from the darkness. Keep taking it one step at a time - you WILL get there! When you look back to where you were a year ago you will realise how far you''ve come and that you are indeed strong enough. Look forward to a brighter future.

  • littlegreen
  • littlegreen's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
29 Dec 14 #452326 by littlegreen
Reply from littlegreen

Crying isn''t as bad as you think it is. I know I cried a cry that I haven''t done before and it was scary at times. Crying is one of the ways the body uses to help us heal. Our bodies are broken by the emtional upheaval that divorce brings so crying does actually help. I sometimes did feel a little better the day after and then when I thought I was doing ok the tears would come from nowhere. But I do really believe that they helped me mend and I would never stop them from pouring out of me.

I''m glad that you are feeling stronger and happier but don''t be surprised if you do have some more crying still to come. I see it as an emotional overflow and I would rather cry than have that pain manifest itself elsewhere as I''m sure it would. It needs to come out, you need to heal and recover and a good cry won''t do you any harm at all

Warmest wishes to you

LG xXx

  • NotasStressedDad
  • NotasStressedDad's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
29 Dec 14 #452366 by NotasStressedDad
Reply from NotasStressedDad
Well that didnt last long. Ive chucked buckets out today thinking about everything. Think the time of year, run down with a cold and lonely has got the better of me today.

Im not as bad when with my daughter, its managing the times when im not that is so tough.

  • Mitchum
  • Mitchum's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
29 Dec 14 #452370 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
Sometimes it''s not so much about how long the good feeling lasted, but that you actually felt it and for a time you felt good and really felt the humour when you laughed and meant it. I clearly recall that moment. I''d spent months putting on a ''happy'' voice when answering the phone so others would stop worrying about me then one day I didn''t have to pretend because I genuinely felt happy.

Hold on to the fact that you''ve achieved that and know that you will feel it again. That''s the sign that true healing is coming.

  • Hiwthi
  • Hiwthi's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
29 Dec 14 #452375 by Hiwthi
Reply from Hiwthi
I feel for you mate. I no longer cry everyday just because I''m bored of it. Doesn''t mean I don''t want to of course. I know them times when you feel alone are the worst. Nothing like it I know the so alone feeling. I had it last night and it wasn''t nice but I tried to snap myself out if it. Just cry mate don''t try and stop it. I still get the this can''t be happening to me feeling and it''s all a bad dream feeling and when you realise it is well and truly happening is when the pain hits. Try to keep distracted mate if you can. I know it''s hard. Good luck pal.

  • polar
  • polar's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
29 Dec 14 #452378 by polar
Reply from polar
I want you to think about this.

When someone dies you cry. But who are you actually crying for. Them or yourself ?

They have no more worries.

Don''t get me wrong. Real men cry tears !!

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.