Life on the razor''s edge

If you are less than £7,000 apart financially I appreciate that''s a lot of money but going through the court process will cost you probably thousands and then on top of that there''s the stress that as you say exhibit''s itself in various ways so if that choice was put to me then I would personally settle.

Thanks naziam,

Sadly, it isn''t quite that simple. I have the new property valuations and the amount she owes the marriage. I''m offering her the business premises, which she can either occupy or use for a wage. I''ve also made her solicitor aware of further costs she left me with that I refuse to pay.

These factors amount to the sub £7,000 difference and the more time passes, the smaller the difference becomes. However, she''ll probably want to fight over the values. I expect her advisers will encourage that, because they''ll earn from it.

I also have fairly serious health issues, further ''ammunition'' exists in this area.

No news again today. Perhaps that equals good news. Or not...hence the ''razor''s edge'' reference.

If your health is going to suffer you need to consider if a further battle is worth it. It''s the most important thing isn''t it as without it there''s not a lot.

I personally wouldn''t argue over such a relatively small amount of money.

Good luck and I really hope you have better health soon.

Ironically your failing health strengthens your position but even so if possible cut a deal.

Thanks again,

It isn''t so much myself as my STBX who should consider the validity of going to court. As naziam is suggesting, I have further leverage in the health issues.

I expect a judge might see her as someone who''ll have somewhere to live, or earn from. He''d also be aware that I''m the one with the incurable neurological disease (MS) and the one who needs a stick to walk through a now inoperable back problem. Did someone mention needs?

Also on the upside, the house was once home to my late mother...it already has a downstairs bedroom with an en-suite shower room equipped for the disabled. It even has a wheelchair ramp. I hope I need never use it but with MS, one never knows.

In short, there''s little more I can do at this stage...but wait. And this is what''s so difficult.

Latest news! She isn''t accepting the flat/business ''cos it isn''t big enough for her and daughter to live in. Daughter is ''more ill'' and needs fulltime care now.

The good thing is that I didn''t adopt either of her disagreeable offsping (now adults) - they are children of a former marriage. I have no legal responsibility for them.

Thing is, the daughter''s 2-bed flat is close to the flat/business and is largely oaid for by benefits. She could live in one and live off the other.

She wants to fight a needs case and I think I can trump that. I have multiple sclerosis and, after four spinal surgeries, Failed Back Surgery Syndrome. This means bad mobility and walking (hobbling) with a stick.

I also saw the doc. He thought I was silly to come off Venlaxafine and has put me on Mirtazapine (only 3 days so far). Seems it''s a state-of-the-art antidepressant.

All for now.

It''s been a weird fortnight starting Mirtazapine. The dizziness has come and gone, and I''m sleeping better. The strange dreams, however, are something to write about. I won''t bore you with them but they can be very odd indeed.

It''s a bit too soon to expect any significant antidepressant effect, though there have been short episodes of being more cheerful - may be a placebo effect though. That said, a difference in perception is noticeable...Mirtazapine affects cognition and this is detectable.

Meanwhile, the divorce rumbles on, and things are on the up (and down). I received my new driving licence this morning...a 3-year medically-restricted one with my having MS. My new Blue Badge also showed up, and a rather personal operation I needed is over and done with.

Ex-Mrs. Cambronne-to-be seems determined to go to court...very foolish in my view. As I said, I can prove she''s been stripping cash assets radically. My next project (for my solicitor) is to assemble a detailed spreadsheet of finances in the disclosure year. I still need the last part of her disclosure.

She''s also being annoying. The wife/partner of a guest in the holiday flat sent me a text message, full of ridiculous accusations about the flat''s being dirty. I forwarded it to Mrs. C., whose OCD kicked in instantly. She demanded the guest''s mobile number to re[ply, then 5 minutes later, texted to clarify I was to sort it out. Since the guest had obviously texted when ''tired and emotional'' (I also received a pre-emptive apology), I fixed it in one message. it all seemed so very familiar.

Similarly, I was e-mailed with the instruction to not give out the stepdaughter''s phone number to callers. I''ve to give people the STBX''s new mobile number - bit difficult not to do the former when the new mobile number was news to me.

SO now, as well as being a mediator, I''m an unpaid secretary, *and* the bringer of supplies to the flat5, *and* the laundryman (save for the ironing).

Guess what I''m looking forward to having over and done with.