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Relief from Divorce Pain

  • Declan
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12 Feb 15 #456028 by Declan
Topic started by Declan

I have just returned home from doing my voluntary stint at the Hospital Radio Station .
Presented a show aimed at the patients and staff . However , it is broadcast over a large area .
Point is , I spent time in the wards visiting patients and explaining that certain people had requested a song for them and to tune in at a certain time when I would read and play the request .

I thought I had Divorce blues so bad that I felt that''s it I''m done .

You know what , since I have been doing this ,and I have been doing it a while now . I have seen so many people suffering in hospital . So many lonely people , people without limbs, sight , lonely people , children with severe disability . People ,that fought for our freedom and are now languishing in a Hospital without family or friends . It sure is a sight to behold .

Ok , we walk the path of broken dreams . I guess , that most of them would swap with me in a heartbeat .
I thank myself lucky really lucky that all I have to worry about is a partnership that hey did not work out in the end .
I have seen the staff at work . And I admire them . Everyone of them .
And they too will have their issues .

All I am trying to say my wiki friends is that by giving up my spare time to others I am beginning to find my peace . Furthermore , I have been inspired to collect all my clothes that the ex bought drive into Manchester and personally give them out to the homeless on the street .

Would I have spoken like this a year ago .

I guess at the end of the day . I am a lucky man .

Warm Thoughts All

  • Marshy_
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13 Feb 15 #456062 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Good for you. It does work and it is humbling. Little bit about what I did.

I started work in the local hospice shop on a saturday. If I am being honest, I did it to get away from home during what I call the "troubles". This was 2006. I wanted something to occupy me at weekends. I never expected what happened next.

After a while, they asked if I would do patient transports in the van. I had to take a special test for this and of course was vetted. I did this for a while and I thought to myself could I be a lay visitor at the hospice sitting and talking to people. Actually it was just listening. Little bit of training for that and another vet.

I had an attack of low confidence. I was struck with the feelings of "I cant do this. I am a fraud. I only wanted to get out of the house. I am not worthy" and so on and so on. So while I was waiting for my vet to come thru, this was going round and round my head. But I thought I would give it a try. I did it for about 6 months in all. But for various reasons I had to stop eventually.

I have to say it was the most humbling part of my life bar none. It made me realise that my troubles were nothing against those at the end of their lives. But it made me feel peaceful for the 1st time in years. In perhaps forever. And it was a place I could go and take some time out of my troubles and listen to someone else that didnt judge me and was grateful of alternative company and an ear. And I had this warm glow for a few days after a visit. I dont regret this part of my life.

What I have to say is this. To give is nourishing. Not money. Cos thats not worth anything really. But time. And I suppose thats connected with coming here. Its why we all do it. To give something of real value is priceless I feel. Those that give are truly blessed. I am blessed. And you get so rewarded. In the years since that time, its one of the stand out moments. A time when life started to change for me. Its value to me was immeasurable.

Almost lastly... We live such mad lives. Well I do anyway. Here there and everywhere and its a struggle just keeping head above water sometimes. But that simple act of giving is so rewarding. So nourishing. I learned so much about myself during this time. I exposed a caring side to me that I didnt know existed. Which I think is in all of us actually. One side that just needs an opportunity to come out.

Defo lastly... So if you are at a loss, give some time to something local and do something positive. You wont regret it and well done mate for doing this. It will be scary. I was bricking it. But it will go a long way to helping you. Like it did me... Marshy.

  • crimsonlake
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13 Feb 15 #456064 by crimsonlake
Reply from crimsonlake
I have been a volunteer Art/Craft leader at my local hospice for over four year now.Mainly working with out patients from the day unit. It certainly puts your own problems in perspective.Every lovely single person I have worked with and got to know very well have eventually passed away.

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