More down than ups

Thanks for the response. I have never heard of pucka depression though and can''t find any references to it on.

My gym sessions consists of 3 Zumba and 2 body toning. I do love it though and come out of the classes feeling relatively up. It''s in the morning when I feel at my worse and it takes me ages to motivate myself. I have started drinking herbal teas and other non-caffeine drinks. I will be glad when all of this mess is over as It makes me feel as if I am in a prison of my own making. Which it is of course. My distressed feelings arise when I start to feel trapped and unable to move on which I don''t feel I am able to until I am rid of the pestilence which is plaguing me - divorce finalisation.

Thanks for the advice which has been duly noted and inwardly digested.

Snap! I know how you feel.

Over two years on I am still on antidepressants. Not sure if they help but keep taking them just in case. Still taking sleeping pills as well (not every day, but have been getting them from my GP for a long time now and use them sparingly). Even with sleeping pills never get more than a few hours per night.

I would say the best thing to do about lack of sleep is not worry about it. I am living proof that you can survive on only about two hours a night. I KNOW it is not ideal and that there are all kinds of repercussions, and I do hope when all this is over I will sleep like a log.

My hair all fell out (well, not all, but loads). It was stress. And maybe because I went through a few months unable to eat. Either way, that has stopped now and I seem to have a full head of hair again, even if it is completely mad when it used to lie flat.

I found I couldn''t remember things and kept getting my words mixed up.

And I went for months completely covered in random unexplained bruises.

My prescription for glasses changed about 5 times in 18 months as my eyesight deteriorated daily, and in the end I had surgery on both eyes.

I became doubly incontinent.

There are more things but I can''t remember then all just now. My GP sent me for all kinds of tests, bloodtests, MRI scans, and a barrage of tests for dementia etc. Net result: stress.

The trauma continues as my x''s lies surface, and he still refuses to settle with me or support any of us with a single penny even while the children and I are faced with eviction from our home.

AND YET

I am growing in strength and starting to feel I will be able to cope with all of the stuff still to come (selling up, moving, finding work after 20 years SAHM and in spite of the various symptoms above, and supporting myself and my family somehow).

This I can attribute to a number of things, including friends and family and the passage of time. But one thing I am particularly grateful for is the year''s psychoanalysis I got on the NHS. It has helped me to come to terms (somewhat) with what has happened, and the part I played in letting it happen, and the extent to which it is or is not in my control. I am so glad I have done this and other work*
on improving my own self. It was not easy but it was definitely worth it and if you can get similar I would recommend it.

Meanwhile try to take it easy and take strength from knowing that many of us have been through it and emerged stronger and wiser.

PS there are two or more threads on here with sleep suggestions.

* PM me if you want to know what else I can recommend.

What a lovely post elizadoolittle. I''m having a down day today - partly to do with a stinking cold that has ruined all the plans I had for this weekend and I''m in one of those ''I''m always there for everyone else, where are they for me?'' moods.

But, reading you post, has reminded me yet again that there are many people much worse off than me. Just had my son on the phone and thought he was ringing to enquire about my well-being but alas no, he needs a babysitter!

Time to brush myself down and get on with the day.

While a bit more radical !! Have you tried switching off the TV set ?
I refused to have it on for the best part of 2 years. We start watching a programme and get tired and then the next one comes on and it looks interesting etc.
Even watching the news can become depressing. Somehow the teams think that they can feed disasters upon us or similar items that we have no control of. What if the chinese economy is static or falling. Exactly what can I do about it ? Then they show pictures of snowdrifts on some motorway and I look out of my window and its sunny !!
Many of the shows are dumbing us down. After any commercial break they feed us with half the story again just to make sure that during the mars bar advert we havent forgotten what has been said before.
Most of the x factor shows are like watching paint dry. Run by people feathering own nests.
Try looking up at the stars of the clouds. its far more fun !!