Why.... do I feel not good 3 year on.

promo
A lot of that makes sense buddy. I will certainly give the guitar a thinking about . yes after the hits i took I consoled myself not in drink or drugs but guitar. And I womanised a while . The guitar remains the other no . So thank you for that promo

I''m soon to be a year down the line and on Friday we would have been together twenty one years.
I m lucky I have my children with me and as their father lives abroad they are solely with me. They are teenagers so although perhaps they don''t need me I can''t just go off anywhere. It''s the weekends I hate, they will both have things on and I found it so so lonely, all of my friends are in couples and some weekend s I don''t actually speak to a soul.
Don''t get me wrong in lots of ways I love my new life,no doing what was needed to keep the peace but yes I miss waking up next to someone, just having a cuddle because. Sitting up and just chatting.
Financially I have a new job only part time it''s all I can cope with at present, we are still in our house although he wants us out so he and the new partner can buy land and build somewhere. Hopefully we will get to stay here but if not well then it''s time for a new adventure.
I keep hoping it will all be over soon but I''m sure I''ve years of misery and bullying left to go, but one day I will be back to being me.
Will I ever trust anyone enough to let them into my life I seriously doubt it, but never say never.
We will all get there I''m sure, we all have each other and some days you guys have really got me through so thank you.

i am 6 months down the line and to be honest things have gone from bad to worse.

do i miss him being here.honestly no its a relief not to have to out up with his bullying.
he tried to kick us out of the house but managed to hold on to it with the help of my lovely mum but when that didnt work he took one of my children and has tried his best to turn the other two against me.

some days its all i can do to function and everywhere i go i see happy families and it makes me so sad.

but do you know what i am getting up everyday and trying to get on with things and will fight him tooth and nail to get my babies back,i have made some great friends and had so much support from wiki,and maybe all those happy families are not so happy.
i have to hope that things get better one day and i am sure they will.

i am determined not to let him win and ruin my life but keep going for my kids.

would i let anyone else in my life i doubt i would ever trust anyone enough and that makes me sad but who knows think i need to work on myself before i go any further.

mumof3

you got fire in your belly thats good. I am confident that you are going to be just fine and dandy.
Trust -- yeah that is a biggie-- a massive even ==

As i write this maybe its that that is holding me down ... scared to let anyone get too close --

Yep, I still have scaffolding around me .
D
x
Keep the fire burning