Panic attacks, pain and loss.

Hi, I too am at the early stages of this awful period in life. My ex left Easter Monday and filed for a divorce 5 days later. It''s hard to understand why someone of 24 years marriage would do something so callous, but they do and there is not a lot we can do about it. I find I can have a good day throwing myself into work and family, then I get a text from him wanting something else. Always about himself. I now realise that his selfish behaviour was always there and my life going forward would have got worse.
The only thing I can say is, the panic attacks and sadness will get better over time. Lean on your friends and family, talk about it if you want because letting it out either sadness, anger or tears they are a good release for pent up feelings.
We are not in control of what our ex partner does, we can only be in control of what we do next.
I am proof that there is life after a great sadness. I''m not there yet with my ex, but I was bereaved 27 years ago, and I thought I would never love again after loosing my sole mate, but I did find love, 24 years of it, so I know I will find it again. But next time my purse will stay firmly shut.
Always here if you need a good rant

Hi Dan

Ive had the panic attacks and I know what you are going through as they are truly awful. I thought I was having a heart attack and once I even got the paramedics out. My understanding is that the panic attacks are basically your system getting overloaded with stress and cortisol. When you get one dont fight it and try to relax as best you can otherwise this will feed them, just accept that they are there.

I would seriously recommend that you read a book by Claire Weeks about overcoming nervousness and fear. Its cheap on Amazon and is a lifeline. Exercise and meditation are also really helpful. Caffeine and alcohol not good either when body is like this.

Hope that is helpful.

Hi, yes I have a full time job that’s become a godsend, even though I can only do 50 or 60% of what I should be really doing at least it give me some purpose to even get up in the morning.
Its weekends that seem to be the hardest at them moment from trying to find things to do and I miss what is normally family time and that.
I just find everyday is such a massive struggle one way or another.

Thank you for the support.
Its good knowing I have something out there that understands the pain and everything else.

Hi,
I had hopped that there was some kind of possible reconciliation but I think that was me dreaming rather than it becoming possible.
I’m not sure if there is anyone else in the picture I wouldn’t be overly surprised from the fact she just moved out for no real reason whatsoever and that makes it more difficult the except.
Yes, we have a 11 year old girl that seems to be going through hell at the moment and whatever you tell them or try to tell them never makes the situation any better.
Thank you for the support its good to know I’m not on my own, the pain we all go through is just unbearable at times.

Hi,
Thank you for the support.
The alcohol aspect is something I can fully understand what you are saying, I’ve found myself using amounts just to try to get me to sleep and try and overcome the waking up at 4am factor but after a while it serves no purpose because it just makes you even more depressed overall.

I lean on my family and friends heavily at the weekend. At first I didn''t want to intrude but they all understand. If you don''t tel them how you feel lonely at weekends they think you are coping and don''t want to intrude.
I have plans for the next 3 weekends and invite my daughter over to fill the gaps. It helps that she is not in a relationship. At some point we need to enjoy our own company, and then we will be more confident and maybe feeling better about ourselves we might be ready to move on and start again. You may never fully trust again, and always hold back a little bit of yourself but that doesn''t stop you starting again. I lost my first husband 27 years ago with an accident at work and although after 3 years I did meet my current ex I never gave 100% so the hurt is less painful, but I know I will meet again as I have so much to give and I know I am a good person.
Always here