Four years on...

Wow, WinterFrost, your your situation outlined in your posts really resonated with me as it was so similar to mine.

Wonder how things are going for you?

londonjen wrote:

Wow, WinterFrost, your your situation outlined in your posts really resonated with me as it was so similar to mine.

Wonder how things are going for you?

Hi, I'm okay. I'm bored as I don't have a social life which is pretty common for middle-aged divorcees. Getting out "there" is difficult for me so there's little chance of meeting new friends. Here I am feeling down again!

I hope to retire at the end of the year as work is really getting me down. The downside is that I won't have my work colleagues anymore do I'll possibly be even more isolated.


Cheers

I have just read all the posts back to you, and your last one.

I am now two + years down the line and have to say understood your theme ... work, home, drink, sleep, repeat... I also understand your desire at the time to go back to France and your concern re stop working.

I think it really is time for you to try something different - whatever it is just do it. Meet up with people that you never ever thought you would be with. Book a weekend painting course, help at a soup kitchen, go rock climbing anything to help break the cycle (it might help with the depression) Just do something that means changing the pattern. Mine was Table Tennis! I always had loved the game, it really gives you a good work out (which helps you mentally) meet up with loads of people... yep I can beat 21 year olds... and we have a great chat over a drink. I knew that I needed to do something different - I think you do too

If you and I were having a pint in a pub... I would say do something for yourself, something different for 3 months and then lets have a chat about work and stuff. (work might feel that much worse becuase your depressed)

Good luck

Hi Dilbert001,

Thanks for taking the time to read through my posts. Depression makes you apathetic. I know what I should do, I completely agree with you, but lack the energy to do it. I was going to join the local sailing club but have yet to do it. I promised myself a weekend in the Lake District at the end of the month but guess what? I couldn't be bothered booking it! I'll get there in the end but I've a way to go, this divorce has shaken me to the core.

Cheers

Hello read this topic as it's late morning and I can't sleep just for a change. I am 18 months in and now divorced but still have finances to sort out.

I was in a similiar position to you. But forced myself onto a dating site a bit of an eye opener in your 50s but I have met someone.

You would think that would make things easier but it doesn't. In fact it made me realise how much I loved my now ex wife. She walked out because I was surplus to her requirements. I divorced her on grounds of her unreasonable behaviour. So why do I look at my new partner sleeping next to me and have so much sadness and regret.

Anyway I took the plunge and spoke to my doctor who referred me to counselling and I will admit I thought it would be pointless but it's been a great help. So it might be worth seeing if you can get something like minds matter in your area, it's only six weeks an hour a week. You refer yourself. Why it helps me I don't know but I wish I had gone a year ago.

FordCapri wrote:

Hello read this topic as it's late morning and I can't sleep just for a change. I am 18 months in and now divorced but still have finances to sort out.

I was in a similiar position to you. But forced myself onto a dating site a bit of an eye opener in your 50s but I have met someone.

You would think that would make things easier but it doesn't. In fact it made me realise how much I loved my now ex wife. She walked out because I was surplus to her requirements. I divorced her on grounds of her unreasonable behaviour. So why do I look at my new partner sleeping next to me and have so much sadness and regret.

Anyway I took the plunge and spoke to my doctor who referred me to counselling and I will admit I thought it would be pointless but it's been a great help. So it might be worth seeing if you can get something like minds matter in your area, it's only six weeks an hour a week. You refer yourself. Why it helps me I don't know but I wish I had gone a year ago.

I would like to try counselling again but the last time I tried, the counsellor, and this was the first time I'd seen her, made out that she knew me intimately and I was thinking this, should do that etc. I couldn't get a word in edgeways! Needless to say, it was the last time I saw her. Getting the right counsellor is very difficult and they can be very bad for you if you get the wrong one.

Heads up (as they say), still here and feeling better thanks to an increased dose of anti depressants. Divorce is not always the Panacea.