Online Harassment

Hi,

i have been now nearly separated for 3 years.

Contact with the kids are in place and sorted.

My ex-wife is constantly posting online offensive posting directly addressed to myself. I have stopped a long time ago to look at her Facebook profile but this was on another social media site which I haven't blocked yet.

I have currently no contact to my daughter as we have gotten into a fight and she has been massively influenced by the mother and has taken her side.

I have regular contact with my younger son and she is constantly telling him lies, like accusing my room mate that he would touch my son or that I constantly abused her while my son was in bed, just to name a few of them. Every contact with her there is something else.

When we we went during our marriage to couples counselling the councillor mentioned that she has a depression. She has never taken any action for this advice.

I have moved on very long ago and have now a healthy and happy relationship with my girlfriend. It seem that my ex hasn't moved on yet.

During the court proceeding I mentioned this several times to the court and to caffcass but all my concerns were ignored.

She is talking about me to the children in the same way she is posting online and I am afraid that this will affect my relationship one day with my 8 year old son. Currently the only option I can see is talk to him and constantly remind him not believe his mother.

Is there anything I can do about this? She seems to be mentally ill and needs help. Even during our marriage she was not capable to provide good care the children either.

I feel for you as I have been in much the same situation.

Here's what I've learnt the hard way.

1. Play the long game. You are a parent for life. Children grow up and make their own opinions.

2. You can't stop your ex trash talking you. So why go looking for it? All the people who really care about you will not give two hoots about what she is saying.

3. Kids don't want to be in the middle of things. The thing is that to defend yourself you will probably start being critical of their mum and this is attacking some one who they love. The fight is between the adults. You be the one to leave the kids out.

4. Children care more about what you do than what you say. When they are with them try to focus on them and you and giving them a loving, stress free , home.

5. Be consistent. Tell your daughter that you love her and she is always welcome and that you miss her. Tell her that she does not have to take any side. Not yours. Not her Mum's. Your relationship is between her and you.

I did all this and now my children don't really listen to my ex slagging me off, and she has started to do this less and she knows that it only makes her look bad to the kids.

Good luck