Year 7

I never thought the feeling of hopelessness and depression would last for so long. All the books and press articles I have read said that recovery would begin at +2 years to +5. I will be at +6 this year and still feel crap. I eat, drink, go to work, watch telly and feel dead inside.

I know two people who have lost their wives this year: one already has another woman and the other isn't far off. I reckon it's harder to get over a divorce than a death.

Men get a hard time on here and often justifiably so but there are blokes who didn't run off with a woman 15 years their junior, who didn't brush off their wives of 32 years without a second thought. The thought depresses me even further.

I wish I felt better.

WF

Hi Winter frost. So soorry to hear about how you feel. I am completely in agreement with you about those who have personality disorders, be they male or female. My narc, destroyed me physically and mentally. But I am a prolific letter writer, and took it upon myself to talk to those who had not talked to me, and found so much from them of what I thought was actuallly true about my ex. He had a history of destruction going back 25 years, and everyone he left behind was destroyed by him. He is now on a new set of 'friends' and a new victim, who has not got a clue, but i am told she already is mentally under the thumb. Be bold and just write a letter to your two kids and let them know how hard you find life, invite them to gather with you and celebrate that there is life after a narc...you dont even have to mention their mum, but suggest something that you can all enjoy, fix a date and if any one of them doont turn up they might be afraid of the narc so try and enjoy your children and granchildren good luck.x

There is so much more to life than work, eat, sleep and repeat! You are stuck in a rut and only you can make things better. Until you embrace new opportunities, take risks and venture into the unknown - nothing will change, no matter how many years you wait.

Life has so much to offer and sometimes we just need to be brave enough to live it! I am scared of so many things... I'm scared to ever trust again, I feel safe living in the world I know even if it's not a world full of happiness, but I have realised that living an existence where I'm just doing exactly that "existing" isn't the same as actually living.

I'll end with a quote from Barack Obama...
"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change we seek."

(I think I'd be hard pushed to find a fitting Trump quote! lol)

Bubblegum and winterfrost

A little of what Donald Trump may be, and indeed we may all have been if we had been dupped by a narc...its funny how the original dunning research was based on a complete idiot!.

Dunning Kruger effect and Donald Trump - Clear Thinking

clearthinking.co/donald-trump-living-example

Is Donald Trump a living example of the classic cognitive bias: the Dunning Kruger effect?