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Anxiety and sleeplessness

  • hon3ybee
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28 Aug 18 #503580 by hon3ybee
Topic started by hon3ybee
Hi All,

Just wondering what others have done to ease anxiety during this awful process.

I feel that I've tried most things and settled on meditation and exercise.

I meditate everyday and exercise every other day which has worked to manage the stress and anxiety most days for the last two years I've been going through this.

Now nearing the end of if all (December hopefully)..... but i now find that everyday i'm feeling more and more anxious and scared..... I know why.... because my ability to rehouse and provide a home for myself and my children when they stay with me are at stake, I've already found myself homeless twice during this process....once when ex forced me out of the MFH and the second when my rented accommodation ended so owner could sell the property.... it's a very tangible fear. There are also other fears as well.

I find it harder and harder to sleep and have started taking sleeping pills which sometimes make me sleep in and late for work (another worry).

I suffered from all this a lot early on in the process but have been able to get on top of it to manage it.... though now i'm finding it difficult again,ever increasingly so having woken up this morning with cold sweats and deep fear in my chest which has prompted me to reach out.

I've done a stint twice with therapists and found them to be very different. Each time with a different therapist and come to the conclusion that although of some help each in her own way, though it didn't really help me with the core issues and managing my problems.

I've also been to the doctors more times that I can count and found them to be less than useful..... in fact i feel dejected just thinking about going back.

Any suggestions about sleep, reducing anxiety, or at all would be appreciated.

hanks for taking the time to read

HB x

  • Ineedsomeguidance
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29 Aug 18 #503633 by Ineedsomeguidance
Reply from Ineedsomeguidance
I exercise regularly as this helps to reduce the anxiety. I have also been to CBT, however, the therapist modified the sessions slightly to incorporate counselling.

I have also started smoking cigarettes, which has helped immensely, because I didn't want to start taking prescribed meds.

I would not recommend smoking cigarettes because of the obvious health and cost implications but this is just a short term measure to get me through this mess that I now find myself in.

I have quit before quite easily and I will give up after the financial remedy side has been concluded.

One of the most important things that you can do is to talk with friends and family as much as possible, just try not to keep talking about the divorce.

If only getting married was as difficult as getting divorced. If it was, I don't think many of us would find ourselves on this forum.

Try to stay positive :)

  • Under60
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29 Aug 18 #503638 by Under60
Reply from Under60
Poor you :(
It’s a very stressful time, and for you has been worse losing a home twice.
I would do your meditation and/or exercise at a class. This will introduce you to more people. Then your troubles shared is troubles halved!
I never slept well until after the Consent Order was stamped and I got my new home....this took 2.5 years.
The only encouraging thing I can say is when it’s all over there is HUGE relief. Things then are a million times better.
You just have to try and keep yourself going for another 4 months or 16 weeks only. You are nearly there.
The Samaratins are always open and there to listen to your worries and fears (You don’t have to be suicidal). Sometimes it’s less of a burden if you just talk about your fears with someone that listens.
I wish you the best of luck and health to keep going until December, stay strong x

  • hon3ybee
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31 Aug 18 #503656 by hon3ybee
Reply from hon3ybee
Thank you both for taking the time to reply, its greatly appreciated.

The taking up smoking made me laugh.... which was a nice feeling. I know its not a laughing matter, its something i tried 20 years ago and haven't been back since.... its was just the picture in my mind of me trying to start up because of this mess that mad me laugh.

Talking to people is difficult, especially when you see then draw back or flinch, understandable i suppose. I usually pick up on what part of my offloading affects them, and then seeing it trigger a withdrawal reaction is not nice so i don't talk about matters.

Socialising helps take my mind off it, I was having a bad time at work until I realised that just going in and seeing and speaking to people put me in a better mood..... never thought i'd be happy to go to work!

Thanks again guys

HB x

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