The Split - How does it work?

Hi everyone,
I''m new to this so please forgive me.
Wife left three and a half years ago and is living nearby with another man. We ahve had little contact and I have three children living at home with me (all over 18).
She is now looking to divorce and a financial settlement and I am worried.
I will ahve to sell the house to pay her anything and then try to provide a family home with what is left. I hear that a 50 50 split of assets is the norm and am wondering whether this is true or whether it is worth going to mediation to resolve. I think she will want to take as much as she can never mind the consequences for the children.
Help!

50/50% is often the starting point but this can change up or down in line with the factors listed in section 25 of the matrimonial Causes Act. Unfortunately children over 18 will not generally be regarded as dependants. Are any of them in education or are they working?

Can you provide more detail so someone may be able to help more:
Length of marriage including cohabitation
Respective ages of the parties
Value of home, mortgage and equity
All other assets, savings and shares
Any debts
Respective incomes including benefits
Pension values of both parties

Hi,
Thanks for the reply. Here''s the info requested:
3 children all living at home with me. All three are over 18, 1 finished in University and job seeking and 2 currently in University.
Married for 25 years, last three she has been living with her boyfriend. We Co habited for 2 years prior to marriage.
I am 53 and wife is 50 years old.
House is valued at £500k with a mortgage of £130k.
I am currently in a start up business and not earning. Wife is currently earning approximately £18k per annum.
For the last three years I have lived off an inheritance granted after the wife left and used it to pay business debts of £30k, debts of £50k and invested in new business of £20k.
I have minimal pensions of approximately £5k per annum at retirement.
Currently I have debts of approximately £20k and will have to loan further to continue with mortgage and living costs for myself and family.
I have received no contributions from my wife since she left or before to living costs.
Hope this helps and thank you for the help.

There is £370K equity less a £20k debt and minimal pension. Does your ex have any debts, other assets or pension?

Unfortunately your need is really only for a one bed place, although I hope the two children at university and their needs would not be ignored completely by your wife when agreeing a settlement if the children are going to live with you in holidays?

How much does a 2-3 bed house cost in your area? I am not sure that you would qualify for any spousal maintenance due to the fact that your exs earnings are not high and there are no dependants.

You will definitely need to downsize but by how much will depend on property prices in your area.

Mediation would definitely be worth a try and could save you a fortune. Having an independant person involved may really help if tensions are running high.

Thanks,maisymoos. I''ll keep at it and hope to resolve the mess. I have a feeling that I will be unpleasently surprised!

Oh dear James.
Didn''t the calculating xxxx time that well to apply for a divorce.
Once the three kids are over 18 when she abandoned you all 4 years ago.
Good luck with the horse trading.
Offer her nothing like a woman would you if she had the kids living with her.
All the best
HRH xx

i agree with Hawaythelads. Offer her nothing. The kids are still living with you so your need is for a 3-4 bed property. If she felt anything at all for your children she would accept 20% of the equity and move on!!