no idea about ''fair''

Hi. Thanks to my husbands clichéd midlife crisis and affair with a childless woman at work we''ve just separated.
We are being friendly and going to mediation to sort out the finances. He earns about 125k per year (about 6k per month after tax) and I haven''t worked since having our second son 13 years ago. Three sons age 15, 13 and 10. Married 13 years, together 23 years.
He wants to carry on paying a monthly amount of #1,900 plus the mortgage (#1350 pcm on a mortgage of #205k, house worth #570k), split bonuses 50/50 to provide holidays and treats for both of us and boys and sell the house when the youngest turns 18 and split that 50/50. He has shares in the company he works for and if it sells as he hopes in a few years we will split that 50/50 too and i''ll never need ask for another penny from him.
But if it doesn''t sell then i''m wondering about spousal maintenance after the boys all finish education. I''m doing a nursing degree and will never earn anything like he does but think there should be some recognition of the fact that he only earns that much because I''ve supported and enabled his rising career never needing to do any childcare or worry about working away etc etc. How to sort out ongoing spousal maintenance? What do others think is fair?
I hate all of this and i''m not a big spender or grabby but it seems wrong that when the boys are all grown up he''ll have a huge salary (and a ferrari no doubt) and i''ll be on a wage that''s peanuts in comparison

What is fair is for you each to leave the marriage with an equivalent standard of living. You need to take into account your mortgage raising ability in particular as it will be much more difficult for you to get a mortgage in the future than it will him. This could mean that you decide to negotiate for a larger proportion of the equity of the house. It sounds as if you will need a clause to protect yourself in case the company shares are not sold, or for the value of them put into the ''pot'' for division. Don''t forget to take into account pensions too.

Hopefully your mediator will help you to establish what your ''needs'' are.

Your contribution in enabling your husband to be a high earner will be seen as of equal value to the marriage as his financial contribution I believe.

There are enough resources here so there are options and both parties aspirations are important. As a general rule of thumb the more assets are shared in favour of one party the more their need reduces and the lower the amount of any spouse maintenance. The spouse with fewer assets has higher living costs so their disposable income and ability to pay spouse maintenance reduces.

Depending upon where you live it appears there will be enough equity to purchase two properties outright without mortgages so there is perhaps less justification to move away from sharing equity 50:50. That''s particularly true if your husband has to wait 8-11 years before the youngest child leaves school or university to realise his share and he is repaying the mortgage.

Unless extending the term is specifically barred it is possible to review and vary spouse maintenance so the term can be extended or the order terminated and/or the amount increased or decreased in the future.

thank you all. I never saw any replies after I posted this (bit inept on the ''puter) so I''ve actually just posted a similar question again. Still not resolved anything cos the mediator pointed out to me that 50/50 wasn''t actually fair if there was no ongoing maintenance for me - husband thought he should pay for me for about two years and do a 50/50 assets split