What seems fair?

I have a similar nhs pension as I am an OT and have paid contributions since 21. Bill will not challenge what I suggest therefore it is up to me to suggest fair so if it is perceived by an outsider (eg you!!) that what I suggest is weighted heavily to me then I must revise my thoughts. I feel so frustrated as he seems to be having it all. I am scratching around trying to make ends meet and he seems to be doing ok thank you very much. Ah well. I asked the question. Thanks so much.

Well, I''m fairly inexperienced in this matter so the others probably speak from greater experience...but you are the main carer for 2 children, he does earn £500pcm more than you and your outgoings are obviously more as more mouths to feed, higher bills, council tax etc. because your housing needs are greater. So I do think the split should be in your favour - just couldn''t say how much.

Rhi34 wrote:

I feel so frustrated as he seems to be having it all. I am scratching around trying to make ends meet and he seems to be doing ok thank you very much. Ah well. I asked the question. Thanks so much.

He may seem to have it all. He earns a good wage and if he pays you £500 and only pays £375 rent then he still has £1500+ per month to spend and from what you say he is very wasteful so he may seem to have a lot but in reality doesn''t.

Bubblegum11 wrote:

he does earn £500pcm more than you

True but remember he will probably pay £500 per month to the OP who will also get CB and probably child tax credits too so will end up with more money each month.

Of course there is an argument for more than 50% but 75/25 may be pushing it a bit.

Work out needs first then you can justify the departure from 50/50

Only benefit I get is child benefit. No tax credits. £2400 is his minimum per month as he usually gets more due to unsocial and nights. I can see 75:25 not fair but neither is 50:50 fair. He has the girls so little and pays for their phones and that''s it. He squanders money.

mediation.
Full declaration of assets and income.
Talk.

If not its court. Solicitors and wave goodbye to 20 grand.

You need to listen to hard truths. Take stock and try and be cold and calculating in the turmoil that surrounds a relationship break down. Very tough to go tbh. I didn''t and it cost me health, time, money and friendships.

Court will only deal with facts and figures. You will get 20% of his income for 2x kids in CM. Everything else will be halved 50/50.

That should be your starting point. If you feel you have a case for more then be prepared to pay for the fight and be ever so sure that the fact n figures are there to back you up.

Never ever under value your health and happiness. I did...

Good luck.