How will our assets be split

Hi I would appreciate some advice on my current situation. As its a 22 year marriage its a long tale please bear with me.

At the start i had 12kfrom working overseas he had about 4k we purchased our first home and were married a year later. We both worked at his time.
We had out first child and as he had always worked away he needed to change his career path to be home more so i encouraged him to go to university to get a degree so this would be possible. I returned to work after a very short maternity leave so he could do this and for 4 years my wage was the only wage into the home. I worked shifts with a baby and he was a full time student.
He didnt get any work after graduating for a year then got a job working mostly at home. I was still working full time on shifts and also doing most of the child care.

After our second child was six weeks old he decided he wanted to work away as he could earn more money (oil and gas industry). I couldnt manage to work full time on shifts with two children any more despite wanting to further my own career.
I worked part time to care for the children as he would be away either month on month off or only home every other weekend. This continued for many years and i desperately tried to further my career but every time i made a step forward he would change his working rotations which meant i had to step back again.
Im a graduate with the potential to do well in my field but have never had the chance due to his work. He would move about from job to job as the mood took him with no regard to the family situation.
We have enjoyed a financially comfortable lifestyle with new cars and two good holidays a year.

My question is related to the Divorce Calculator on this site as it shows an 80 - 20 split in my favour. I will have the children with me almost all of the time as he wants limited contact. (now aged 17 and 10)

He seems to think he will get 50 % of our assets and his only concern is a home for himselef. We are currently selling the family home.
FMH equity 400k
buy to lets equity 150
cash 80k

to purchase a house suitable for me and the children (3 double bedrooms as we come from a 6 bed 4 bathroom house) would be 350k

my income is 1300 a month his is 5500 a month (all after tax)

With regard to the facts would a court be likely to award me the 80% that the calculator is showing.
the 80 - 20 split would give him about 125k and a three bed house would cost him 210k. He has the finances to buy a much bigger house if he chose to do so but he wouldnt need a large house.
child maintenance will be about 1200 a month and i have suggested 650 SM a month. This will leave him 3600 a month to live on for himslef and me and the children 3150 a month.

On paper i see this as relatively fair and that i am not asking him for a huge amount of SM but i do have a large portion of assets but that is due to the housing need of me and the children.

I have read lots but would like anyone's opinion on how the courts would possible view our situation.

many thanks

I have heard that the calculator is not that accurate so best not to rely on it. From what you have said I would say that the Courts would allocate a greater proportion to you as your earning potential is less and you will be caring for the children - 80/20 might be rather ambitious though, especially if you're looking for SM too.

The fundamental idea is to divide things so that each has a similar standard of living (clearly not the same as when you were married). Your contribution to the marriage in terms of supporting him and looking after the children will be viewed as equally as his earnings. The money you invested in property when you were first married is irrelevant. What matters now is your 'earning potential' and mortgage raising potential. I found it useful to approach it from the point of view of what I 'needed'. I was the lower earner and, in my mid 50s, had no mortgage raising capacity so I 'needed' enough capital to buy a property mortgage free. I did a list of monthly expenditure to see what my needs were and therefore the shortfall. In theory you both need to have a similar size property - he will presumably want to have the children to visit. Find out what, if any, mortgage you could raise and ask him to do the same. I ended up having a larger proportion of the capital from the FMH in lieu of SM and pension sharing.

Keep in mind that awards are made on 'need and ability to pay'. Have you tried mediation? I found it useful for my ex husband to have the rules explained to him as he was deluded in thinking it would be a straight 50/50.

After 22 years who brought what into the relationship is of no concern. All contributions are seen as equal.

There is a big difference in incomes so you should expect a bigger share of the assets. The more assets you get though the less, or even no, SM you can expect.

It would be to your advantage to take more assets and leave him with the bigger income to fund a bigger mortgage. Also you never know if his circumstances may change and maintenance decrease or stop.

If a 3 bed house will cost him £210k why would one for you cost £350k?

Given that you mention £630k of assets why do you need 80% of this? Even after buying a house for £350k you would still have over £150k left over.

You don't mention pensions are there any?

Have you included tax credits and CB in your income as you will probably now qualify?

How long are you expecting to get SM for?

I found the calculator gives you a very high number.

Best advice is to go to a mediator as solicitors cost, way, way more.

The 50:50 thing is B.S. designed to put you on the back foot in a negotiation.

As the other replier said, it's about dividing things up to look after kids, give each a similar standard of living and if possible, a Clean Break.

thank you for the reply

the 150k left over so to speak is equity in two buy to let homes. They were brought so each of the children can have one in the future and i am trying my hardest to hang onto them so this will still happen. they will not be paid off for another 10 years and no money is taken from them it all goes to repay the mortgages.

The difference in price for homes is a small three bed to a standard 4 bed. I have an elderly mum who i have to look out for and the children have had a good size home for many years. It seems unfair to both have the same size homes when he will only have the children once a month and they will be with me 95% of the time. I want to stay in the same area for stability of schools for the children he however can live anywhere in the county really, this is also an affect on the prices of houses.

I will retire in 3 years and have a pension about half my current wage, i will probably find another job and end up about the same as i am financially. He has a small pension but has failed to make provision over the years despite having the means to do so.

I will get £4 in tax credits

I was hoping to get SM whilst the children are living at home. when its just me i will be ok on my small pension as long as i am mortgage free.

You haven't mentioned ages but if you have a pension that will pay you £650pm in three years time it suggests that it is a valuable asset and will need to be in the pot for division. Along with his of course but it sounds as if your may be worth more which means you are looking at wanting even more than 80% of the pot.

He may not have made pension provision but that meant that you all enjoyed the benefit of the extra money at the time.

Do you have to retire in three years? You will be expected to maximise your income so it would be difficult to claim that you needed SM for another 5 years (ie until 10 year old is 18) if you have chosen to retire.

Do the children already own the buy to lets or is it an aspiration to give them to them at some stage in the future? If they belong to you or your ex then again they will be in the pot and if you want them you will have to expect to give up another asset.

Also is there a rental income in excess of the interest on the mortgages. If so this will inflate the income of the person who retains that asset.

How is child maintenance being agreed? Bear in mind it will drop when your eldest leaves full time non advanced education, ie finishes A' levels or equivalent.

You can't expect to get more of the equity in order to house your Mother. The strict needs at the moment are a 3 bed house each.

I am 50 he is 53
I do need to retire in 3 1/2 years as if i stay i lose pension as it goes to a different scheme. I will though have another job somewhere.
He has said he doesn't want to include my pension in the pot and he has substantial shares in New Zealand which are about the same value so i have also excluded them from the pot.
Our houses are on repayment but not in the children names. No money is taken from them all the rent goes to pay the mortgage (repayment) I do however pay the tax on what is classed as income even though i don't have that money as this was better as i am the low rate tax payer.

I worked my 80 20 split on the calculator on this site it also says he should be paying me 1500 spousal maintenance but i think that is unreasonable

I have worked the child maintenance on the gov. site and yes this will go down to about 900 in 2 years time when my eldest finishes A levels.

if the calculator is wrong how can i make a basis to start from. The house is for sale and i need to look for somewhere to live but can't do that until i know how much i have available. I can only get a small mortgage due to my retirement date.

Would it be more acceptable to buy the house the children will live in then split everything 50 50 after as the needs of the children come first. Strictly speaking a two bed would suffice for him as he is only having the children one weekend a month if he can fit them round work and they could share.