Does this sound like a fair settlement proposal?

Hi

firstly, sorry for the long post but I want to get as much info over as possible

We separated in September 2020 after nearly 29 years married, together for 35 years. Ages, 54 & 52 Ex moved into rental accommodation
3 children aged 28, 25 & 22. 22 year old lives with me in the FMH
property value £420,000 with £90,000 liability on mortgage - no other liabilities
ex take home pay £3900 pm
my take home pay £1950pm
pension values are equal
my savings £21000
i have used the Divorce Calculator and estimated the savings that my ex has and it looks like potentially a 60/40 split in my favour and ex pays me £760 spousal maintenance

If we sell the FMH I would struggle to get a 2 bed for my son and myself on my salary and the length of mortgage would be reduced due to my age.
I obviously would like to keep the FMH so my other children have somewhere to stay when they come to visit.

My ex is in a very well paid job and has the capacity to obtain a sufficient mortgage for himself.

my proposal to my ex is that he signs the house over to me and forgoes any enquiry in the property.

we go for a divorce on the grounds of adultery (his), therefore freeing him up to obtain his own mortgage

alternative is to wait 2 years and use separation as a reason and we both agree to a divorce, or wait 5 years if I do not agree to a divorce

in return, I would not ask for a share in any of his pension, savings and would not expect any spousal maintenance. In effect we would have a Clean Break with him walking away with nothing from the house and no further financial committments to me

if we decide to go to court for a financial agreement I would be happy to represent myself as I have previously been a Mackenzie friend for a colleagues divorce in which the husband paid all court expenses and I believe that ended up in excess of 50k.

My justification for him not receiving any equity from the FMH is as follows.

he gets to keep his own savings which I know he has a substantial amount and I would be prepared to ask for 5 years bank statements - estimated savings in excess of 40k

he would not have to pay me maintenance, which would work out at £118,560 up until a retirement age of 65

if we have to sell the FMH, after fees etc I would expect the equity to be circa £315,000 with his 40% working out at £126,000

No large court costs for him

in my head I think this is a fair offer but maybe that's just wishful thinking.

I would be grateful for any tips advice and comments on whether you think this is fair or not. I am thick skinned so will not be offended by any ones views ☺️

many thanks

Rather than adultery you can also submit under Unreasonable Behaviour as another option but that's just semantics really.

Based on normal guidelines you're starting with c. £310k, in equity from the house, c. £61k in savings and 2 equal pensions

Both of you require a single bedroom property and he has a larger capacity to obtain a mortgage. But you also have £370k to split to allow you both to be housed. Depending how much a 1 bed place is where you live you can see if 50/50 allows you to get somewhere or if you think you would require more to use as justification to deviate.

As he also has the option of saving more in pension from his salary then again that could be a justification for having more equity to you to allow you to do similar.

Have you taken advice from a solicitor using a free hour or the wikivorce service to get an opinion? The calculator is fairly crude and I'm not sure the spousal maintenance would fly in terms of courts wanting a clean break in the first instance.

Thanks for your response.
I would require a 2 bed as my 22 year old son lives with me and does not earn enough to rent his own property.
we currently live just outside London and property prices for a 2 bed are in the region of £380,000
i haven't use the free service but will do

T

Spousal maintenance is based upon needs of recipient and ability to pay of the payer.

How much has your ex been paying you since September?

It will probably be difficult for a single person with no dependants to demonstrate a need when they already have an income of approx £2k per month.

The reason you choose for the divorce makes no difference so unless you have already agreed to use adultery and he will admit it then don’t waste your money, use UB instead. If the marriage is over there seems little point waiting extended periods to divorce. You never know what is round the corner.

He has been paying £700 per month since September

I could manage the mortgage repayments if I were to stay in the FMH and remove him from the mortgage however could I not afford to sell the property, split the equity and obtain a mortgage suitable to house my son and myself.

I would be happy to not receive any spousal maintenance or share of savings and pension if he would sign the property over to me

Your son is an adult so won’t come in to the equation. If you want to house him that is admirable but you won’t be able to claim that you need a greater share of the assets in order to do so.