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What happens if he doesnt return the forms?

  • spyder
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14 Apr 08 #19542 by spyder
Topic started by spyder
After ringing a solicitor today I found out I will not get legal aid, and it will cost me £165.00 hour to see a solicitor. So I went to the court to pick up the papers and do them myself. It costs £300 just for a DIY divorce!

What happens if he refuses to sign and return the papers? Where will that leave me? His parents have now moved and won't tell me or kids their address. He lives abroad and pays maintenance as and when he feels like it (2 payments in 7 months). I believe he is now struggling with his rent and may well move within the next few months.

He has left me with a huge amount of debt that I am liable for because we are married. He now wants to marry his tart, so I think he will agree to a divorce. He doesn't really want to see his kids unless I take them to stay with him and tart (not likely). He has gone bankrupt in UK, so there are no assets.

I really can't afford a solicitor, we wont argue over anything - I get no money, he gets no contact. On the papers I will put a figure in for maintenance (that he won't pay), and I will put a regular contact agreement in (that he won't want).

Reading through previous posts no-one seems to recommend DIY divorces though! Once I start a divorce, if he doesn't sign, does it go on hold? I won't bother to chase him - can't afford it. Would I lose all the money, or do you get a refund? (You have to laugh really)

  • ciaobella
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16 Apr 08 #19737 by ciaobella
Reply from ciaobella
Hi Spyder,
don't be too put off by DIY, I found that when I did go to a solicitor I was horrified that if I wanted to know anything at all about my divorce it would cost me money. I decided I would rather be the first point of contact for the courts and not have it all filtered through a solicitor. However if you stbx is difficult to trace this will add complications , as you have to be able to prove that the petition has been served, there would be costs of baliffs fees atc to serve them if you could find out where he is living. I'm not an expert but there are many people on this site who have a lot of knowledge and can give you excellent information and guidence throough the system. You're going through a horrible situation which we all have some experience of here on wiki.
Keep on firing questions, someone will help.
Good luck
Louisa

  • spyder
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16 Apr 08 #19745 by spyder
Reply from spyder
Thanks. I spoke to him today and he has said he will not sign any forms as he thinks I will cut all contact with the kids and he will have no comeback. He has agreed to pay £200 maintenance with a bonus if I take the kids over to see him!

So I am stuffed. I can't open a bank account as I am still married to a bankrupt (I have tried and they won't let me). He will probably move shortly and i won't have any address for him, so it looks like I will always be married to him.

It just doesn't seem fair that he always comes out smelling of roses and gets everything he wants and there is nothing I can do.

  • Fiona
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16 Apr 08 #19757 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
If you can show that all reasonable steps to trace him & get an acknowledgement have been taken the Court can go ahead without him signing.

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