Your last post explains a lot that wasn't easy to grasp in the first couple of posts. Drink and drug addictions are often behind my client's breakup and I know from my own experience how hard it is to extracate yourself.
I saw a financial meltdown coming way before it really took a hold but but it was a blessing because it did force the issue. Once I had decided to bite the bullet and divorce, a friend gave me a copy of 'Co-Dependent No More' - Melodie Beatie's book and I realised overnight I had absolutely done the right thing for myself and the children. I couldn't do any more for him.
Equal understandings of what's going on are not always possible. That needs co-operation from both sides and a person with a drink problem needs to want to deal with that problem before they can possibly think of anything else.
You sound as if you are working through the reasons for breakup but if you (or any other readers) are looking for further understanding of other people's problems, especially drink and drug related, I really recommend the above book.