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how to get son back?

  • alieddy
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28 Sep 09 #150020 by alieddy
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mediation appt is weeks away & I want my son back now. Husband took him when HE moved out for a "break" & took him until his room was finished which it is now, but he said he's keeping him. I'm trying to make him see that the kids should be together...to put them first! Not to put himself first .I assume he's taken one child so he doesn;t have to pay maintenance.,... but I'm happy to do 50/50 anyway but with BOTH kids, as I am putting the kids first & NOT the money.
So how do I get him back without having to wait weeks for mediation (of which he may not go to)?
Thanks.:(

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28 Sep 09 #150024 by Gargoyle
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alieddy wrote:

mediation appt is weeks away & I want my son back now. Husband took him when HE moved out for a "break" & took him until his room was finished which it is now, but he said he's keeping him. I'm trying to make him see that the kids should be together...to put them first! Not to put himself first .I assume he's taken one child so he doesn;t have to pay maintenance.,... but I'm happy to do 50/50 anyway but with BOTH kids, as I am putting the kids first & NOT the money.
So how do I get him back without having to wait weeks for mediation (of which he may not go to)?
Thanks.:(




I doubt that the reason for the lad staying at his Fathers' is because of the Child Support claim because he is already looking after the lad which costs more than the Child Support he would be paying if he were still living with you..

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29 Sep 09 #150427 by alieddy
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Gargoyle ....geez.... Ok...maybe reply when you know what you are actually talking about!!!!!!!!! I'm having a hard time & have to put up with someone like you responding on all my posts against me! I'm after advice..not to be criticised.
FYI...no it ISN'T costing him more as we still share bank accounts etc...oh that is the ones I know about! AND he is having a lovely time booking holidays etc for himself thinking I dont know about it since I have no access to our accounts like he does...holidays with his mistress while I have sat here & begged for years to go as a family on a decent holiday instead of going to a friggin caravan park once a year!!!!

He's got my son because he is a selfish moron........ask his friends..they don't even know he has another child as he favours this one & ignores the other!!! He has told him he is there til his room gets done but wont do his room so I have done it & now he wont return him. He DOES want to come back as obviously he misses his brother. It is NORMAL that children stay together NOT to split them up for your own purposes......if my husband wants to leave & spend all his money on a mistress...then why should he "take" one child with him under false pretences.......

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29 Sep 09 #150450 by Gargoyle
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alieddy wrote:

Gargoyle ....geez.... Ok...maybe reply when you know what you are actually talking about!!!!!!!!! I'm having a hard time & have to put up with someone like you responding on all my posts against me! I'm after advice..not to be criticised.
FYI...no it ISN'T costing him more as we still share bank accounts etc...oh that is the ones I know about! AND he is having a lovely time booking holidays etc for himself thinking I dont know about it since I have no access to our accounts like he does...holidays with his mistress while I have sat here & begged for years to go as a family on a decent holiday instead of going to a friggin caravan park once a year!!!!

He's got my son because he is a selfish moron........ask his friends..they don't even know he has another child as he favours this one & ignores the other!!! He has told him he is there til his room gets done but wont do his room so I have done it & now he wont return him. He DOES want to come back as obviously he misses his brother. It is NORMAL that children stay together NOT to split them up for your own purposes......if my husband wants to leave & spend all his money on a mistress...then why should he "take" one child with him under false pretences.......



Well, for someone who says that it's not about the money; you do seem to bang on about it quite a lot...

Basically, if your child wants to come home then he will. You have a meeting soon and all should be sorted by then but, to me, it sounds as though the lad is free to walk whenever he wants and the Father would be a fool if he is just hanging on to him against his wishes.

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30 Sep 09 #150770 by alieddy
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This is suppose to be a support forum...not one where people like gargoyle come on to stir up trouble. Go get a life!

  • elvis_fan
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30 Sep 09 #150828 by elvis_fan
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alieddy,

Really sorry you've had a bad experience with responses to your post. I don't know much about the legal issues of contact and residence, as I don't have children, but I agree wholeheartedly with your concern that the children should be ideally kept together. It's really important that the process of divorce minimises any perception about favourites, and about the children being used to meet parent's emotional or financial needs. Well done for being adult enough to offer 50/50 for the wellbeing of your children and trying to take the child support issue out of the equation.

I'm a psychologist and I've treated so many people whose adult psychological problems stem from badly handled family breakups. Good luck with your efforts at being a supportive parent in a difficult situation.

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30 Sep 09 #150833 by Fiona
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Have you seen a solicitor? As I understand in Australia mediation *must* be attempted before going to court but maybe there is a procedure to fast track this???

In England & Wales when the status quo is disrupted unilaterally the courts tend to reinstate it as a matter of urgency unless there is evidence the arrangement is unsatisfactory for the children. The views of teenagers are an important consideration, though, and rarely is it ordered a teenager live with a parent if they don't want to because it leads to unwanted behaviour such as running away.

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