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It was all so surreal. For months of verbal requests plus letters plus confirming to a judge and barrister and now the mediator, finally ex has agreed to have our boy overnight. You have no idea of the emotional battle, the tears, the sorrow, his refusals to have our gorgeous boy for an overnight has been.I truly felt he actually didnt give a stuff for our son.
In all of this the one thing I have been adamant about is that our son knows his dad. Not just for fleeting visits or treats or sleeping in a car, but properly. My letter to the judge stated 'I want our son to grow up knowing his dad, for his father to be there in his life, as a child and as he grows up and develops his own sense of independence, guides him and helps with his education.....'
And finally, today with much persausion by myself and mediator, he has agreed this tiny but huge step. Son will be staying overnight with daddy starting in 2 weeks. We agreed that I will join him for bedtime routine as in stand-back-but-be-there. And that if our son becomes unsettled I will be nearby and on the end of the phone if it becomes too much - which it wont-well not for our child but maybe for daddy - lol...he's in for a shock(she says giggling!!!!)
Thoroughly emotionally exhausted now. Lots more happened. Our mediator was fabulous on this second session - so many options and not in the least biased towards my ex or I. Money issues start properly next session.
I learned a lot today.
I am grateful for everyones advice and thoughts. Nice to come home to and I'll hang onto them for the next session.