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Seperated parent ''training'' SIPP

  • Rumbled
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27 Jan 13 #376482 by Rumbled
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As part of mine and my STBX''s child contact agreement, the Judge told us that we need to attend a SIPP. Has anyone experienced one of these? Cafcass arrange them. They were supposed to be emailing me information but I haven''t received anything yet - my SPAM filters must have identified it as rubbish. I do not think anyone could train me into being civil to my STBX ever again :X

  • u6c00
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27 Jan 13 #376489 by u6c00
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I went to one about 2 months ago.

Though CAFCASS arrange them, my course was hosted and ''taught'' by staff from Relate. I was there with 2 other men and 3 women. It took Relate about 4 weeks to send me a letter, and I then had to phone up and book a time. You could do the course in 2 blocks of 2 hours or 1 block of 4 hours. I chose to do it in 4 hours and there were plenty of breaks so it was not too arduous.

You get given a booklet and there are some simple exercises. I found that the course offered general advice but nothing specific. The advice tended to be to try to put yourself in your child''s situation, to minimise conflict and to examine your own state of mind (particularly in the context of the ''grief cycle'').

Personally I found that the course didn''t help me, as they made it clear that they were not going to help with specific problems (for example "My ex screams at me every time we have a handover, how do I deal with that?"). I found everyone there believed themselves to be in the right and so no one seemed to take any of the advice on board.

I imagine the course could be more helpful to someone who was just entering the family justice system, but when I attended we had already had 6 hearings over 9 months by which time it was too late. Perhaps you may find it more helpful if you''re less far along than I was.

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27 Jan 13 #376507 by Rumbled
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Thanks for replying.

I think my course is 4.5 hours long and the only benefit I think I will gain is having the ability to share divorce horror stories with like minded people and free coffee??

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27 Jan 13 #376508 by u6c00
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and biscuits. Load up on biscuits so it doesn''t feel like such wasted time.

Despite what the letter says, we didn''t have a lunch break and so it was over in about 3 and a half hours or so.

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27 Jan 13 #376529 by GETTING STRONGER NOW
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I attended one a few months since. I didn''t learn anything that i didn''t already know or haven''t already tried.
I did meet some nice people and we all chatted quite freely about our own situations.
It would have been more appropriate at the beginning of the divorce instead of 12 months down the line but I was directed to attend so i did.
My stbx also went (not at the same time obviously) he said he learnt a lot but that just didn''t surprise me has he has never thought of putting anyones needs before his own..
Lots of tea no biscuits and no lunch break though however the whole course only lasted about 3 hrs.

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27 Jan 13 #376534 by hasski
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Completely agree this would have been infinitely more useful early in the proceedings not after x court hearings regarding contact:( . This however is not the fault of the course, which was unavoidably generalistic and (for me) covered nothing new. But perhaps it''s necessary because not everybody has common sense or is mature enough to put the children first?:huh:

As others have said, its biggest value may well be the networking with other separated parents going through similar situations

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28 Jan 13 #376587 by Rumbled
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Thanks all

There might me some hope for me as I have my ''training'' prior to returning to court to sort out school holidays etc. We have to write to each other with our suggestions for increased contact in the holidays, and as I feel so angry that he wants everything on HIS terms, to suit HIM, I just want to dictate to him what I will allow. :blush:

Not sure about loading up on the biscuits uc600, I need to look good for our next court date so he can see what he''s lost :lol:

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