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Family Mediation

  • skyliner
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7 years 3 weeks ago #396327 by skyliner
Family Mediation was created by skyliner
Hi all

I need a few suggestions on my next mediation meeting i have to discuss arrangements for children e.g. some examples to discuss slightly less than 50%.(she has turned down 22/55) and is so stubborn and looks at percentages although i have told her its not about percentages.

Unfortunately at our first hearing my wife did not want to agree to shared residence and the whole point of going to mediation is that we both move from the the 50% share. My STBX has only offered every other weekend,a couple of hours on a weds & half school hols.

What are my expection of these mediation meetings and how am i best to approach a good negiotiation on what i want very near to a 50% share?

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  • WhiteRose
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7 years 3 weeks ago #396328 by WhiteRose
Replied by WhiteRose on topic Re:Family Mediation
You''re right - it''s not about percentages - it''s about creating and sustaining a workable solution that is in your childrens best interests.

It''s difficult to discuss realistic expectations when it seems its degenerated into bartering.

So, what is good for the children? What is workable?

You need to put forward the positives for you having time with your children, how
your involvement in their lives is a benefit to them.

Remain child focused.

As for the final outcome, who knows - the common set up is alternative weekends, midweek contact and half holidays, but that doesn''t mean it works for all in every case - there are some NRPs that have a lot more (and less) than this.

There is nothing to prevent you from accepting what she is offering initially and seek to increase at a later date.

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  • MrsMathsisfun
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7 years 3 weeks ago #396331 by MrsMathsisfun
Replied by MrsMathsisfun on topic Re:Family Mediation
Can you take and collect the children from school?

How about having the children from Thursday evening until Monday morning alternate weekends and overnight Thursday the following week That''s 5/14 nights + half holidays that''s approx 40/60 split.

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7 years 3 weeks ago #396366 by skyliner
Replied by skyliner on topic Re:Family Mediation
Mrsmathsisfun

Answer to your question- i do help with the school run (drop offs Mon to Fri and pick up wed - Fri. My job is part time and flexible. I have thought of the suggestion of the split- i will bear that it mind.

My STBX says that it is the disruption is preventing her shared residence and oh yes she put a pack of lies about me on her court application of turning the kids against her and making derogatory remarks....more lies.

I m going with exactly what i have been doing all these years since the children been born....been there, cared for them, doing shared household chores, cook, clean,put them to bed, homework and more importantly my love for them....

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7 years 3 weeks ago #396369 by MrsMathsisfun
Replied by MrsMathsisfun on topic Re:Family Mediation
So you do the school run every morning and collect 3 days a week. Assuming your ex can only collect 2 days a week why aren''t you requesting residency with her having contact??

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7 years 3 weeks ago #396438 by skyliner
Replied by skyliner on topic Re:Family Mediation
I did think of applying for full residence order but thought by default she would get it, so instead i applied for shared residence order on the basis i would at least stand a good chance.(My STBX works part time 3days a week and also does the school run with me as we work at the same place)

However when she made an application for full residence it got into court a couple days before my application.
Looking at it now i should have made the application her to her to have contact , from what i read, i may have not stood a chance...i just need to reach a resolution and get whats best for my children.

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