I have been divorced for 4 years and have had a contact
order for 5 1/2 years.
While we were in court sorting out the contact order the judge suggested we liase with each other over the booking of annual leave, but this wasn''t included within the contact order and he is denying this was ever discussed in court. However for the last 2 years he has refused to do this, saying that I don''t need to know when he is on leave, yet he expects extra contact while he is on leave.
I have suggested going to mediation
to sort this out, but he is point blankly refusing. We now have a situation where we are both on leave at the same time and he just expects me to give up my time with the children.
He also books
holidays as and when he wants to (3 last year) without any regard for his contact with the children and just expects me to fit them in around it. He works shifts so no 2 months are ever the same. I receive his rota, along with a list of "can''t do" days, 8 days before the end of the month to organise contact for the following month based around his rota and the childrens availability
I have asked for him to have the children for a long weekend so he can collect them on a friday and return to school
on a monday, but without knowing his annual leave in advance I can''t even do this.
He says its too much to ask for a whole week as he lives 15 miles away from the childrens school and he doesn''t want to do the running about.
I have, at the moment, stopped all contact until this is sorted out, but i''m not sure we ever will get this sorted.
What will happen if he refuses mediation but tries to take me back to court for breach of the contact order?
Will the judge insist on mediation?
I''m trying to sort this out without the need of bothering the already busy courts on petty squabbles.
contact could leave you on the back foot if your ex does start court proceedings. There isn''t a great deal you can do about regular contact because your ex works shifts and it isn''t unreasonable to work around that.
As far as holidays are concerned I would suggest you write formally with proposed dates for your holiday to check they don''t clash with the dates he wants and say you need to book the holiday by a certain date.
Otherwise if the current order isn''t working the correct thing to do would be to apply to court for a variation and ask the court to attach conditions for the holidays.
IF either you or your ex applies to court the applicant in most cases is required to arrange a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting to find out about
mediation and whether it is appropriate.
Thank you Fiona, but I don''t think you understand, I would like to go away for a long weekend and have asked my ex to supply his annual leave so I can book a long weekend without the children around his leave. I cannot guess when he is off, and 8 days notice isn''t enough for me to book annual leave at work.
Last year he was able to have 3 child free holidays as his wifes ex husband had the children that live with him and I had our children, all I am asking is for the same.