A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020
Mon/Fri 9am-8pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-8pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Not feeling heard

  • estee
  • estee's Avatar Topic Author
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
More
3 years 4 months ago #491002 by estee
Not feeling heard was created by estee
Attended Mediation yesterday. Came away feeling numb and like I was invisible.
I am always trying to remain amicable, but When your up against someone who likes to manipulate and be in control, it is very hard.
I'm so tired with it all as it has been going on for a long time.
I walked away from an unhappy marriage and since then it seems my husband has been determined to destroy me.
He used emotional abuse to get the children to feel sorry for him and it worked. The children say they wish to live with him, I say that with a very heavy heart, but have to accept it. I do believe that in the end,they will end up spending more time with, because once their father gets what he wants, he won't care and wont be able to cope.
I know he is not telling the truth about his earnings. He does his little private work on the side, but I know I can't prove it
He said we had to joint accounts which are i debt. I don't remember signing for them, but told him to bring the proof, he didn't.
The mediator, seemed to think, this really doesn't matter?
He has his own personal debts
Is it right that all debts are paid whether joint or not from the sale of the house?
My husband has always been the main earner, I have always worked part time,but am looking to increase my hours.
It was put to me that he should get 70% and I will get about 30%.
Financially, I could so do without getting in any more debt with solicitors and am so emotionally drained, trying so hard to know what to do for the best, maybe it is time to just accept it and move on

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • crimsonlake
  • crimsonlake's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
3 years 4 months ago #491009 by crimsonlake
Replied by crimsonlake on topic Re:Not feeling heard
You do not have to agree to anything in mediation.I went through mediation at one time and let me tell you what my ex wanted me to have was wildly different from what I actually achieved finally in court.
Do not let what he says he wants and what he wants you to have deter you from fighting on for what you believe in.Do not give up.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • estee
  • estee's Avatar Topic Author
  • Junior Boarder
  • Junior Boarder
More
3 years 4 months ago #491035 by estee
Replied by estee on topic Re:Not feeling heard
Thanks crimsonlake.
So pleased to hear your outcome at the end was a good one. It gives me hope. I feel a little better today.
I know your right,I must not give up. I'm just tired, My gut feeling is to keep going, so I will try.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • crimsonlake
  • crimsonlake's Avatar
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
3 years 4 months ago #491040 by crimsonlake
Replied by crimsonlake on topic Re:Not feeling heard
Yes keep going, it helps to imagine what you might end up receiving if you give up and how you will survive.
I have had to endure 7 court proceedings, 5 where I self represented since 2013. Towards the very end recently I wanted it all to go away. However I had gone this far and had to see it through to the bitter end.

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11