What is fair? Mediation and incomplete disclosure

Good morning, I have already posted but I think I should post here as well. I am under pressure to start mediation. I am a litigant on person now and just feel so unsure as to what to do or what to expect. Whether to take part mediation or let this go to final hearing.

H 52 Applicant in divorce
W52 Applicant in financial application

1 child age 10 A
1 step child age 19 at university B

W and child A and B live in FMH
H lives with parents for last 18 months. House big enough for him to live comfortably and also child A has own room


A stays with father from Friday to Wednesday
A is with mother from Wednesday night to following Friday


Married for 11 years. Separated for 18 months
Lived together for about a 6 months before

W earns £6500 p/t work and H allowed her to keep child benefit.W is currently on long term sick leave and presently does not receive a salary but is working towards returning to work.
Unearned income pf £1000 per month

H earns about £211 per week (information just been supplied from CMS) H left full time employment after separation and returned to private study. Now works on a part time basis while qualifying and building client base. Has notified W that his contract has ended and has told CMS the same therefore not working anymore . W is aware he is employed by one than one company and according to their websites he is still there.
H receives unearned income of £830 per month from rent and interest on shares (unknown).

CMS initially assessed husband as being on nil income. However, he volunteers £25 per month child maintenance. CMS have n ow calculated that he should pay £100 per month in arrears based on his salary and unearned income. H has not paid anything yet

H pays for all utilities at FMH.

FMH is H name only no mortgage worth £800,000

W owns investment property with £148,000 mortgage. Valued at £500,000 (CGT will payable )

H owns investment property no mortgage valued at £350,000 (CGT will be payable)

W outgoings
Food £380 per month
Spanish lessons for both children £108
Money child B £50 (varies) also contribute to rent.
Pension £35 per month
Petrol £70

H outgoings £850 (utilities and his study fees)

W owns 1 car £7000
H owns 1 car £3500

W has saving scheme £18,000 and ICVC £29,000
Shares £1000
Pension £33,000 (total of three pensions Largest personal is worth £30,000)

H has disclosed £50,000 worth of shares
£50,000 savings of which he says £30,000 is inheritance for children (probably less now as he has has been making large purchases)
H has three pensions
£217,000
Final salary pension worth £65,000
Another pension CEV unknown he has not disclosed yet but I thin k it might be around £16,000

W has £10,000 liabilities in sole name. This debt was accrued after separation )


Have attended FDA in March 2022. Directions should have been completed by now but have only just started. FDR has been adjourned until next year.

FDA Order directed pensions expert to be instructed but letter has yet to go out

W suggested hybrid or shuttle mediation to discuss child arrangements and finances last September as there is DV/DA husband did not respond.
Now husband wants mediation and has attended first appointment.

W wants to exchange schedule deficiencies as H has not fully disclosed financial situation.

Decree Nisi has been refused due to spelling error (I think that is the reason)

W is under pressure to talk to mediator . However, just need an idea of what is fair?

H did say W and A and B could stay in FMH until A finishes education but he changes his mind frequently depending on his mood.

H want a Clean Break. Initially wanted W too sell her property but has not mentioned that for a few months now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated please.

Given excluding the pensions there is heading towards £1.7m in assets that could be liquidised and there are disputes around £25 CMS payments ongoing what do your solicitors suggest would be viable before it spirals even further in costs?

I have approached a solicitor who advised to complete directions in FDA Order.

Are you in the court process?? If you are then disclosure can be compelled.
Once you have the figures you may be directed to mediation to resolve matters.
How much is it going to cost to rehouse??
Is there any reason why there shouldn't be a straight 50:50 split of assets?

Hadenoughnow

Thank you so much for coming back to me hadenoughnow.

Yes we have had FDA and agreed Order. H did not comply with the dates that were set. Then date was set for FDR hearing and his solicitors sent me an Order that they wanted me to agree to that stated that hearing should be adjourned because we were in the process of mediation which we were not. I wrote to the Court telling them so and both H and solicitors were livid. Making threats that it was my fault and that now the judge may not adjourn the hearing. That they were "shocked and disappointed" that I was blaming their client.

H then stopped talking to me directly. I reluctantly agreed to the Consent Order and it was agreed the hearing would be adjourned until 2023 for us to proceed with mediation and to comply with the FDA Order. Nothing has happened since the end of October.

He said he would pay for mediation and mediators have told me we can mediate alongside court proceedings. They have said will be still be complying with the FDA Order. However, I am not so happy with him disclosing to them. Thankfully I have fully disclosed my financial position.

H has not provided full financial disclosure and has not disclosed all his accounts. I know he has received money from his family that he has not disclosed and am waiting for us to exchange our Schedule of Deficiencies to raise this.

He only wants to share his pension that was accumulated while we were married . FDA Order directs a pension expert. However , as far as I am aware the letter of instruction has not been sent yet.

I will be approaching the barrister who assisted me with our last hearing as she was really in my corner and was very supportive for a quote to see how we can move forward with this as I can see another FDR hearing being set and we are still where we are at now.

He is likely to me offer 30% of the FMH and a share of his current pension which was worth £217,000. His other two pensions are final salary. Both were accrued before we met. He does not want to pay spousal maintenance or child maintenance. He volunteered a small amount of CM when he was assessed on nil income but now has been asked to pay arrears on his non earned income. He is very angry with this decision. He said he cannot afford to pay for the utilities and pay SM so he suggested he pay the utilities instead of SM and I agreed. Unfortunately this was verbal.

When the CMS advised he need to pay arrears he told me he was going to transfer all the utilities into my name so he could pay the £100 per month CM.

I would be agreeable to 50/50 once he fully discloses his financial position. He has already indicated he would like us both to hold onto our investment properties.

I am waiting for the mediator to confirm he will covering their fees as this is what he suggested. Next week I will communicate with them so it is clear it is not me who is delaying us moving forward.

The FMH home is only in his name as are all the utilities hence him not wanting to go 50/50.

It was only last year I realised I would be entitled to any of the FMH he has always said I would not be as it is his property.

When he left the FMH he left paper work accessible that listed his accounts and finances so that has helped me and he has forgotten that he used to talk to me and I kept diaries.

The only problem is that I was not banking on his level of dishonesty so did not disclose what I had at the start of the financial proceedings... how will this affect me?

I am now very much living hand to mouth for the first time in my life and am very traumatised by this whole experience.

I am now considering a forensic accountant as I suspect he is hiding at least another £300,000 and possibly a property he may have bought with his parents. Is it worth is for this sum?