hmmm where to start

have been married for 16 years next month, but have been separated for nearly a year,
I guess you all know what its like to have your world ripped apart.
But its the not knowing what really gets me sometimes, all the way through being told its not yr wife cant tell you where or what the problem was to make her not want to attempt to save the marriage, even after 4 seperate occasion of being asked to try councilling, etc.
Any way i suppose the question is this, or 1 of them? She will not and does not want to discuss mediation or taking the next step after separation, She understands there is no going back and wants divorce the same as me. but she does not want to do anything about it. we both want to be amicable (if that is possible) and have breifly spoke about money children etc. but its as if she stalling??????
any suggestion, about what i can do to get the ball rolling etc. we''re both not very well off and cant afford lawyers solicitors etc. and she wants the 2 year separation. I just want my life back to that i can start again.
i suppose just point me in the right direction to beging with and then go from there.

If you want to Divorce now you could apply for one on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.She doesn''t have to agree to it,it is your decision to make,perhaps she is stalling because of fear of the future?

gooners wrote:

yr wife cant tell you where or what the problem was to make her not want to attempt to save the marriage

I''ll bet you a cheese sandwich she does know exactly where the problem is, and I''ll bet you a Cornish pasty that there is a 3rd party involved. But I guess after a year of separation it really doesn''t matter - the marriage is clearly over and the reasons aren''t worth dwelling over.

She understands there is no going back and wants divorce the same as me.
we both want to be amicable

HA! Well, her actions contradict her words. If she wanted to be amicable then why not co-operate with the divorce. It seems that when she says she wants to be amicable, what she means is, "I want to be amicable as long as you do what I want you to do".

any suggestion, about what i can do to get the ball rolling

Yes, you can file a divorce petition. You should not wait for 2 years separation... that relies on her consent, which she may simply withhold when the time comes (for many reasons rational or irrational). Basing your future on someone else''s whims is not a good idea. If your divorce Petition is worded correctly and based on unreasonable behaviour, then she will not be able to do anything about it. If you want a divorce now then you can get one now. You do not need her permission, cooperation or even her signature.