Are we really being helpful?

answer yes.
helped me a lot int he beginning, well, and subsequently, made some friends too.
Comes down to seeking adivce for the questions you have, you get the advice and opinions of various people, they may have experience and be farther ahead.
Thats the main idea, however only you can make the decisions, its you that may have to deal with the circumstances etc.
at the end of the day this is like tv, if you dont like it change channels or switch off.

I have been shocked originally by how some couples treat each other, stories of dads living in the garage or one chap I remember living in his works van, going tot he gym for a shower and wash, how cruel is that!

I agree I just don''t know why you''re not all more sensitive like wot I am

All the best
HRH xx

In terms of my own experience i cannot fault the support and advice i have received. I have no problems posting my queries and concerns and getting and objective reply.

What i am noticing lately though is the occasional scathing remark to others when they have taken the time our of their day to read someone''s story and offer their opinion or advice. It certainly makes me think twice before posting replies!!

Like many have said we are all different and at different stages in the process, i guess we all have our ''bitter'' days!!

Yeah jslgb,

Actually I''ve had more hurtful comments from friends and colleagues who say things like "Aw don''t worry at least the weather''s getting better"
or
"Don''t worry about her, plently more fish in the sea", as they go back to their happy house with wife, kids and pets and you go home to a dark, empty house alone.
or
" Jeez!! are you still on about that? lol..
that''s been, what?...6 months or so?
"If it were me...she''d be right out the door mate and I''d have moved on to a sexy blonde bit of stuff by now"

(sigh)

Effin "Dreamer" IMO. Just like the rest.
No idea of what it''s like to have your whole world turned upside down and inside out..
If his wife had to walk out the door tomorrow, he''d be on his knees, crying like a baby and begging her to come back.
But he doesn''t know that. (yet maybe?)

It''s great being tough when you don''t have to walk that walk.

So IMO the folk I''ve talked to on Wiki are WAY above that.
They know what you are talking about.

Might not feel it or express it in the same way as you would...but THEY KNOW the loneliness of that walk themselves.

LW

i agree with marshy, when i joined just over 6 months ago i had `hints` of IT having an affair, all on here `guided` me through the signs of an affair and they were so right, god, yes it hurt like hell, but i will always be grateful.
as LW says friends are always there to talk, but when do we talk to much ?
every one on here understands each other, some times emotions are running high, but i completley understsand that
we all need to vent and also to help
but we do it in our own way xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

jslgb wrote:

I found this site 18 months into my separation and to begin with it was a huge help.

But i cant help feeling that the more i use it the more i read posts that leave me more than a little unsettled.

I understand emotions are high and we are all at different stages and sides of the divorce/separation process but i began to use this site because i was feeling vulnerable about the breakdown of my marriage and unsure of how things were playing out etc. Sometimes its not enough to talk to friends and family when they dont have the same experiences as you which is obviously why this site is a huge help.

Yet i feel some posts can be hurtful. People are quick to make judgements without knowing a particular persons circumstances and i sometimes wonder if some posts are actually helping people.

Does anyone else share this experience or is it just me being overly sensitive?

I started using this site because no one around me understands AND as I live on my own it''s company.

Writing this I know that several actual humans will read it and maybe reply. THAT''S the connection I need.

wmorris2 wrote:
I started using this site because no one around me understands AND as I live on my own it''s company.

Writing this I know that several actual humans will read it and maybe reply. THAT''S the connection I need.[/quote]

That pretty much sums it up for me, at the moment.

However.......we also need to remember that the written word can readily be misunderstood.
I have a selection of cheesy grins & sarcastic tones up my sleeve, which aren''t available on this keyboard.

Our moods & emotions tend to be cyclical.
Our opinions can alter.... life-changing events occur here!

This site is only as good as we make it:dry: