Where to start ...

posting on behalf of my sister so apologies if detail is missing.

My sister and husband have been married and living together for more than 10 years. they Married 11 years ago, and shortly after had a child.
Even as they married things started to go wrong, and after the child was born things were even worse for them. However they decided to stay together for the sake of the child, and have been living together since.
Over the last 10 years things have got worse and worse for my sister, the husband has done things such as

* Agree to school pick up's and then cancel at the last minute (my sister also works, so this last minute change causes problems in her prof life)
* constantly berate her for not doing X Y Z
* take the keys from her to the family car - thus stopping her going to work / picking up child / being mobile
* Has taken all money from the joint account
* Disapered for days on end

These do not seem like much, but over 10 years constantly they have become more and more of an issue.

So things have got to the point where she wants a divorce and feels that the time it right.
however she has tried to talk about it and he will not engage. she also does not know what options will occur with the house as it is clear he will leave.

What can she do ? She is desperate to provide a home and secure safe life for her child and to try and start having her own.

Hi Paul
This sounds a little familiar. Hes a controller and she needs to break away. I tried the discussion and hit a brick wall every time. Pack his stuff for him and leave it at a friend or relative. Then tell him. Change the locks i know its illegal but if its a safety issue you are fine to if she fears for her safety emotional fear or violence.
Contact bank freeze the account.
Move bills etc to new account.
Even if u think you cant afford it mortgage etc there are many options especially given todays economic climate.
Go for it ! Good luck x

hi there,
Controlling is the word. i spoke to her late last night about it, and she is almost too scared to do anything now. She is desperate to do things nicely as they have a child and wants to protect him from everything. i've told her that I dont' think it's possible and that even though it's going to be a bumpy time it will work out best for all of them.
she wont consdier moving his stuff out as they have a joint mortgage and on her own she wont be able to pay for the bills.
i would of thought that even if she does move him out, isn't he obliged to continue paying the mortgage in order to provide a home for his child ?