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a rant about spousal maintence/everything!

  • lostlucy
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16 Jul 12 #343469 by lostlucy
Topic started by lostlucy
I haven''t been on this site few a couple of weeks, but needed some support as DH is moving out in less than 2 weeks, and I have gone to pieces.
I am reading alot of other posts about spousal maintence. My DH doesnt want to pay me anything at all. He earns over 5 times what I do, I have 2 small children and I am not able to work more due to long term health problems. At the moment we are seperating. He will pay something but only until my benefits come through. I am in the process of applying.
It doesnt cease to amaze me what people do when they have left a marriage and family.
My DH hasn''t shopped for years for the main groceries, and wanted help when I went to a shop over the weekend at where he starts to get a home delivery order. He doesnt drive so is unsure how he is going to manage!! He went shopping for bedlinen, but didnt know what tog duvet to get, so he had to come home and ask. He reckons he can manage. LOL.
sorry must dash, have an appointment.

  • cookie2
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16 Jul 12 #343474 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
I would very much suggest that he is playing the victim. He had to ask you which tog duvet to get??? What is he, 5 years old? Couldn''t he ask someone in the shop, or just READ the packets, or just buy ANY one?! I don''t even know what tog duvet I have, or what I should have. I think anyone capable of holding down a job that earns 5x yours, is perfectly capable of buying themselves a freaking duvet. He has GOT to be putting this on to make you think he can''t cope.

As for maintenance this would depend on a lot of factors:
1) Your respective ages
2) Ages of any children involved
3) Your respective incomes, and how much benefits you will be getting
4) Pensions
5) House value and mortgage amount
6) Any other assets, savings, shares etc
7) Debts and liabilities such as credit cards, loans, etc

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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16 Jul 12 #343479 by NoWhereToTurnl
Reply from NoWhereToTurnl
Dear LostLucy,

Reading your post has made my blood boil, how dare your stbx ask your help to furnish his new love nest!

Is this the same man who has lied, cheated and has a string of women hanging on his every word but is unable to buy a duvet? Unbelievable, what will be his next trick?

Let him get on with it, you look after yourself and stay strong. Pity the next conquest, he needs a mummy that can cook, clean, shop & drive. There must be someone out there that will fit the job description but how long will it last!!!

You will feel up and down when he has gone but you will also feel a sense of relief, do not get drawn into his pathetic little boy lost scam.

Take care,

  • julie321
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16 Jul 12 #343486 by julie321
Reply from julie321
Hi LostLucy

Don''t help him at all, if he wans to go let him get on with it. When my stbx lsft he used to ring me all the time asking about car insurance, doctors, dentist you name it.

At first I was fool enough to help him then a lightbulb came on in my head and I thought hang on here, you have left for OW let her sort you out.

Take care of yourself and your children and leave him to it.

Good luck.

  • Emma8485
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16 Jul 12 #343491 by Emma8485
Reply from Emma8485
Why doesnt he want to pay you anything? Does he not think that he should financially contribute towards his children as a very abre minimum?


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