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Advice appreciated

  • CTX
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14 Aug 12 #349356 by CTX
Topic started by CTX
My STBX is living in the former marital home. We have two boys (8 & 6) She works less than 16 hours a week, and for the time being while I''m lodging with a mate, I can still afford to pay ALL the bills and mortgage.

Naturally, as I move on, I will not be able to do this forever. Being new to this sort of thing, any advice on options I have, would be appreciated.

(£70k left on mortgage, 18 years to run)

  • dukey
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14 Aug 12 #349360 by dukey
Reply from dukey
If the marriage has ended and you no longer live together often its best to formalise the situation with a divorce and have the financial agreement set in stone with a Consent Order, it can be a mistake to do nothing, another mistake men often make is to continue to pay everything while living with a friend or parent, as you are beginning to understand this cannot be a long term solution.

What you need to do is work out what it will cost you to rent and have your own place where the kids can stay, be realistic, work out what you can afford long term to help with the marital home, its a simple fact that separation and divorce is almost always detrimental financially to both parents, the aim is to keep the impact on the children to a minimum.

Keeping lines of communication open is key here keep talking, keep lawyers out of it if you can, if you need help sorting the money side think about using a mediator rather than solicitors.

What you need to be careful of is digging yourself a deep hole with money, its all to easy to try and maintain the marital home and end up getting into debt.

No need to do anything in haste but start thinking about along term solution.

If your not sure about if the marriage is over then talk to relate or think about marriage counseling.

  • cookie2
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14 Aug 12 #349367 by cookie2
Reply from cookie2
Yep I second what dukey said. Work out your own expenses for your long-term solution and then see what is left to help her, not the other way around.

I would think about seeing a solicitor, just for an initial consultation which is usually free. You can get a whole load of useful advice in a free session. But yes as dukey says try to keep communicating directly with your wife, you will save a packet on costs. Get free advice from a solicitor but don''t take them on on a paid basis unless you need to.

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