Split of the house

Hi all,

First post so go easy please. My wife is considering a divorce. There is no way I can convince her otherwise so need to take heed regarding moving forward and getting on with my life. If there is anyway I could show her how much we can work this out I would. but she just wont listen.

Now my wife and I own our house jointly. We are renting it out at the moment and living somewhere closer to her sister (renting ourselves). I work abroad and return back to the UK every 3-4weeks.

I am the main bread winner and pay for all living costs. Rent, food, school fees etc etc.

We have 2 kids, a 3 year old and a 10 month old.

My wife says she wants to sell the house, take the equity and split it. I am reluctant to do so at this stage as it is providing us with income.

My question is that in her situation, 2 kids and not earning enough to support herself and the kids, what should I do. Sell the house and split the equity or suggest her to move back into the house?If we do the latter surely a judge would award her the property as she has the kids.

If we agree on split equity, her half would be used on living expenses and some of mine on maintenance. If she gets the house through the courts at least the equity is still in an asset and not spent. I''m fine with this btw as my kids at least get a house to live in.

But just want to know my options?

if anyone can advise I''d be grateful

First impression is to tell you that I''m afraid it''s not possible to give realistic advice, simply because you have concentrated on one factor ( albeit probably the most important factor ) namely where you and the children will live.
You see, there are other factors that come into the equation - notably income and pensions.
So let''s start with income. You say you work abroad and come home regularly. You suggest she works but does not earn much.
You will have to pay child support, as I am sure you recognise and have no objection. In my experience few men do not want to support their children but it is of course always the irresponsible few who get the headlines.
So then any child support you pay is an addition to her income and a deduction from yours. But in your case there are two other sources of income you could explore. One of these is the rental income, and the other is benefits, particularly tax credits.
At the moment your incomes are aggregated for the purpose of working out tax credits. After divorce this no longer applies, and the result is likely to be a considerable increase in her tax credits. So this is an aspect of the matter which needs careful consideration.
There are all sorts of options regarding the rented home - you could sell it and use the proceeds to buy a home for her and the kids, for example. It would be possible for you to have a charge on the house realisible at some future time to safeguard your interest in the house. Or she could have it outright in exchange for a reduced share in your pension.
There are all sorts of possibilities here. I think it is very likely that you could have to pay some spousal maintenance, but it could be set at a low level depending on the other factors I have mentioned.
I hope that what I have said will give you some food for thought but perhaps in concluding I could say this. The overall aim is fairness and equality, but in your case there are a number of ways to split the assets ( income and capital ) and still achieve the equality and the trick is to work out the arrangement which suits the two of you best.
LMM

Hi, I hope someone can shed some light on this matter as I am in the early stages of discussing divorce (nothing formal or in writing yet) with my wife and don''t want to incur huge legal costs so early on.

My wife has asked for a divorce but has not started any proceedings as I am working abroad and we have agreed to wait until I return back to the UK next year to discuss at length and / or finalise and start the divorce ball rolling.

At this stage I hope we can reconcile but it is looking unlikely.

I have recently discovered, today, that 35k has been withdrawn from our savings account. The account is in my name but she has access to it. This is a huge some of money for someone to just withdraw (cash might I add). I am yet to ask her about it which I will do tonight.

As we have not done anything formal in terms of separation or divorce or anything as such, its just been talking and phone calls. Not even anything in writing as yet. How will the legal system view this transaction?

I am absolutely fuming that this has happened and am terrified that she is taking cash from the marital savings account. What happens if she gives it to her parents for "safe keeping" or spends it on expensive jewellery or the like or keeps it under the floorboards etc.

I don''t understand how or why some one would do such a thing without letting me know first. I know this is marital property but I worked my ass off for that (she hasnt contributed to savings in years) and its a large chunk of our savings. Do I have a claim to this amount in court if it goes missing?

very concerned. thanks